Sullendry: An Elf's Best Friend
by Delphina2
Summary: As a carefree colt my herd was approached by a fair but silly elf. My father and I teased him and chased him off. However, the memory of his bright presence never faded, even through the darker decades that followed. Though more wary when next we met, I was still drawn to him. This story is how our friendship has developed from a curious distraction to a lifelong companionship.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: In the universe of "Heartsong" this will be a short first 'person' narrative dating from between when The Courtship of Muriel ends going up until Haldir and Sullendry enter Rivendell in Heartsong. It is a new style for me and given the subject matter I will be stretched significantly. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Notes: Sullendry's breed in this story is drawn from the stories the Rohirrim told of their great Mearas horses having had their origin from the stallion Nahar brought by the Vala Oromë, whom they call Béma. For the necessity of the story I've gone with the idea that there were more than one horse brought to Middle Earth and like elves, this breed is immortal. When they mate with mortal horses their offspring will have longer life, and these are the Mearas of the Rohirrim. Tolkien never said that Nahar was immortal, that is my own invention.**

**Location: Eriador; Winter 2250**

**Chapter 1 ~ Pale Son**

The moon lit the crystals sparkling on the fields and it was clear enough to see a great distance. Nothing moved to warn of danger, and no foul scent lingered in the air to warn my already terrorized heart. Five moons ago the ugly ones had slain my father and taken my brother and I remained in constant fear that they would return to take or slay more of us. I stepped carefully around our weary herd, my hooves crunching the frost, my nostrils heavy with white breath. Why had our father led us so close to these dreaded mountains and away from the lands we knew?

Now that he was gone, we changed our ways only by the will of my mother and she refused to heed my warning to join a larger herd back from whence we came. A moon's setting ago she had nipped at me for my questioning and now I was cast to the perimeter of our family until otherwise summoned.

Perhaps her intent was to drive me off, for I was of age to draw a challenge to the elder stallion who played her second, but my heart could not leave so many of my young siblings. I was determined to remain as submissive as necessary so that I might one day fill my father's place as the lead protector.

Suddenly I was disturbed from my weary musings by a sound that triggered my attention. None of my elders heard the light crunching of grass and I snorted a question to a young mare beside me. She turned away, uninterested in my concerns. Anticipating my worst fear, I stepped a few paces from her toward the threat of doom and was rewarded with the validation of a clear foot fall. It was not heavy laden with weapons and armor, but some creature was watching us! I startled into frenzy and reared up in a warning whinny, frightening the elders along with the foals and fillies. With no time for my mother to investigate my claim, she rallied the mass of us and we drove away from the unknown in panic.

...

The next day and through the night all were jumping at every twitch. My mother was particularly prickly and as though she doubted my previous detection she kept me close in her right eye. When our trespasser returned three nights later, she grew in her respect for my ability for detection, but upon another week of non-threatening accompaniment, she determined the presence was neutral and all relaxed at her decision to allow it. When our herd chose not to run away, he remained nearby, never very close and always out of sight.

And then one night, the clunk of a dropped fruit landing at my hooves took me back through more summers than I could remember and filled me with strange elation. I had not forgotten the fair one, but I had never considered he would return. And though I had often wished it, I had never encountered another of his kind. The men enemies who hunted our kind for enslavement were far less detestable than the murderous gigantic night creatures or the ugly gray monsters and the fierce beasts they rode.

Our elders had run from all two legged creatures save, as I recalled, my father from the fair one.

I sniffed the luscious treat and smelled the faintly familiar sweet scent of him. When I heard rustling, I kept my head down, pretending to be interested until I saw out of the corner of my eye a flash of his bright golden mane in the moon; he was closer than ever! Tipping my head slightly I saw him cover himself and hide.

Keeping that spot in my vision, I grabbed the apple with my teeth and slowly walked toward what to my eyes appeared as a rock. When I reached it, I let the apple go and heard it fall and land on what sounded like hollow wood.

"Ow!"

I stepped back and snorted in satisfaction.

The fair one pulled off the covering from his flowing locks and looked at me with wonderment. It was a pleasure to lay my eyes on him and to be so regarded by his starlit blue eyes. He was glowing like the moon and dressed as though he belonged to the woods. He stood, nearly meeting my height and when he took a step toward me, I was overcome by a sense of safety and peace and did feel any urge to flee. I had not felt such calm in the presence of another since before my father was taken from me.

"A horse as intelligent as he is glorious?" He held up the fruit and said, "I would never have guessed I would be so pleased to be clobbered in the head with an apple!"

At the sound of his melodic utterance the herd behind me began to stir. I ignored their worry and continued to stare into the fair one's alluring starlit countenance.

"The horse Alhor died of old age over sixty years ago... and while my elders in Rivendell informed me that your kind live long lives, you look no more than three years of a mortal horse!"

The surprise in his tones darkened to sorrow when he glanced at my family.

"Fear tells me it was not by age that your father was taken. Your numbers are much lower than when last we met… especially thinned are the darker coats among your herd." His eyes lifted to mine again as he continued, "I cannot imagine your loss."

Those who tried to enslave us chattered and grunted angry commands like struggling hooves stuck in mud. But this fair one's sweet confessions were like the pattering of a gentle rain or trickling of a cool, clear stream. I knew not why he made so much speech to me, but I did not question his need any more than I would a lonely lark.

"You cannot understand me, can you?" he said. I noted that spread of notes were clear, insecure self-defeat and I hummed a nicker to encourage his mood. "Can you understand my words?" he asked again. His eyes looked longingly at me and I knew not what he wanted, but I snorted and stomped and was pleased when joy returned to his features.

"Perhaps you do somehow?" he said. "Even so, it does not matter, for I do not understand you... but what we have is a start. You have acknowledged me at least!"

He looked to the morning sky and said in a tone I did not like, "It was a much greater challenge to find and greet you than I anticipated, and I do not want to leave, but I have been away from my family for years. I will try to return and I hope when I do that I may gain enough of your trust that I might touch you."

My fear of his intention was realized when he placed a hand on his chest, bowed and then started to walk away. I whinnied and he turned and looked at me and then he took a quick glance at the uneasy shifting of hooves behind me.

"What is it?" he asked, but did not give indication that he would stay. I tilted my nose down in a friendly gesture, inviting him to join us as I remembered my father did with lonely bachelors. "Do you want this apple?" he asked. He stepped forward and held out the fruit. Though I knew he was offering it to me, something else inside of me stirred. "It's my last one, but a new friend is worth many apples."

That particular sound, 'apple', registered a memory. He had said it before when first we met and then again earlier when he held up the fruit. A thought occurred to me about his vocalization and I stared at him in awe at the possibility. His speech was not merely expressive, he was repeating the same sound for the sweet fruit… 'apple'.

"Do you want the apple?" he asked. I snorted in frustration and excitement. I could take it, but I wanted him to know I understood him. I nickered again and he frowned in his own frustration before he seemed to get an idea.

"Yes," he said and nodded his head, holding out the apple to me. Then he said, "Or no?" and shook his head, taking it back into his pocket. He repeated the gesture three times before giving a sigh in resignation.

As if hit by lightning, I realized what he meant and woke up out of my stupor. I nodded my own head, as he had done and the fair one seemed as excited at my communication as I was at his.

"Yes, you want the apple?" he asked and nodded. "Or no?" And he shook his head.

I nodded again and he made a noise mixed of air and joy and spun around with a few hops. I nickered in amusement of his silliness and almost forgot my treat until his senses came back and he offered the 'apple' in the center of his strong hand. I delicately lifted it from him with my teeth and did not move when he turned over his palm and placed it carefully on my neck. His gentle touch was soothing and welcome and as I ate I wondered at the wetness on his face.

"I had been so proud to bring back a report of my success to my mentor; just finding you and establishing contact again would have been enough," he said. "What you have given me instead is such a rare treasure; it feels an egotistical brag to attribute your wit and kindness to my own fumbling approach."

Now that I knew the words had more meaning than the emotions and intentions I could intuit, I felt eager to understand what the fair one could be saying; what thoughts might he be able to share? Placing his hand on his chest he said, "I am Haldir. And though I know not what to call you, I shall find a name that is the most suitable!" Done with the apple, I nuzzled my face toward his and was rewarded when he pressed his cheek to mine in return.

He stayed with me that morning until the sun was high in the sky; teaching me many words and phrases. He too was a protector of his people and he had a very strong and powerful elf female alpha that he called his Lady Galadriel. His people dwelled over the mountains in a land I hand never seen with trees taller than he could describe to my understanding.

"I must go home now, but I will come again!" he said and the affectionate sensation of his arms around me before he ran away haunted me for many summers before he returned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 ~ Irreconcilable Differences**

Over the next few dozen summers Haldir brought more knowledge with each visit. He pointed to objects, used gestures and showed me renderings he called drawings all while he shared stories of his people and his life and those of the other races in Middle Earth.

It was a comfort that not all herds of men ran in the same patterns but in my mind any who would seek to enslave us for their riding were not to be trusted. Except that first day when my father was still living, Haldir never came to us with a horse; but I remembered clearly the controlling straps he held and kept a wary eye on his rope whenever I saw him handling it.

The others in my herd must have felt similarly for they shunned us during his visits. My uncle who was my mother's second, even made certain to snort or stomp his disapproval each time Haldir arrived.

It was not until the day he spoke of dwarves that a rift began to develop between us. I had never seen any of their sort and though I understood his dislike for their greed, his opinion of them as having lower character than elves felt questionable.

"They plunder the heart of the mountains for its glimmering treasures. Their interest in acquisition of wealth is measured only by their means of hard work, using their own muscle and time to bring forth the metals they crave." Begrudgingly he admitted, "And while their company is irritating beyond most men I have met, in comparison to mortals in the East and South who grow their wealth by use of slave labor, I am loath to admit we elves have more in common with the noisy cave dwellers!"

Unable to resist my frustrated confusion, I had to stomp and turn from his arrogant disingenuous claim. What more labor could there be than a horse carrying the weight of an elf and his burdens when he could so clearly walk on his own? The dwarfs seemed much nobler.

"Do you fault me for some reason?" he asked. I continued to avert my gaze from him. "I see I have offended, but am at a loss… will you work with me to discover my offense so I might rectify it?"

I nickered and glanced at him. He walked up slowly to my side and stared at me with longing. The discord seemed as difficult for Haldir as it was for me and yet I needed him to understand.

"I will retrace what I have said, and you stop me when I reach the objectionable?" I gave a small nod and when he spoke of men working against their will, I stomped and then nudged my nose against his chest. He stepped back from the push, paused and blinked at me. I then gestured my head toward my herd and nudged him again with a whinny.

"Do you believe I would take your family to work for elves against their will?"

I neighed and took a few steps back from him; then snorted.

"Elves do own horses, I will not deny it… but it is not why I have become your friend... and it is not the same thing by far!"

I reared up slightly and then stomped close to his feet in anger at his assumption. Haldir stumbled back, raising his arms in protection of himself.

The hurt in his eyes stunned me and his brows were pressed together as though he was bewildered by my reaction. I could not clarify for him my concern was not specific to our friendship, but a general annoyance with the use of horses as convention.

"It is the same to you," he said and turned from me, looking to the ground.

Breathing out my frustration in quick gusts, I calmed quickly and softened my response with a neigh. He did not look up, but instead crossed his arms and put a knuckle to his lip as he paced in the grass.

I grazed while he gathered his thoughts until finally the night was upon us and my mother indicated it was time to move on.

He noticed her attention to me and spoke, "Remember when I told you about theValar; our protectors and guides who help us understand who we are and find our place in the world? Orome is one such Vala who in the first age brought a magnificent horse named Nahar to middle earth. It was his companion. My elders in Rivendell believe your kind that grace these fields sprung from his young! And I would not doubt it…

"I would not dismiss your objection of our use of horses based on the relationship between Orome and Nahar, I only mention it as an explanation as to why I have never considered it ignoble to break and ride beasts of burden.

The herd was moving and I waited to follow, to hear all he would say.

"I cannot yet apologize for my actions or that of my people, or to even swear to change who I am. For though I am loath to admit it, even if you are right, to protect my lands and the people I love I must at times ride a horse…"

I snorted and looked away, starting to take a step.

"Wait!" he said and bounded in front of me with his hands up. "Given your judgment on my people, I will research on the origins of Orome and Nahar's relationship and also the adoption of our imitation."

Comforted I nodded and he lowered his hands in relief and added, "My perspective has no doubt been prejudiced by ignorance but I tell you this, my friend, I will never again walk in the pride of superiority over other races and societies I encounter. Your fair judgment of me has made me realize, others too are protecting themselves and what they love; even if by the foulest means… I accept that in your eyes, I am a lesser being for my views… but I hope you realize that knowing you has made me wiser to my own short comings."

Haldir's long monologue was not completely clear to me in every word he spoke, more for my emotion over the subject matter than any language barrier. I did, however, understand the more important meaning in his eyes and emotions in his voice. He was sorry, but would not change his practice. Unable to secure our connection with any of the affection from our previous departures, I merely ran away from him to follow my herd. I felt empty and lonely and betrayed by my years of admiration for Haldir and the enlightenment of the elves.

I did not see him again before our herd came under increased, vicious attacks from the orcs. In horror we lost nearly half our numbers to their warg's gorging. When they took my mother, my uncle's fierce nature was finally permitted to surface. He drove us north to the point of exhaustion, refusing to give us time to rest and mourn. My grief and fear were complicated by a concern that Haldir would not know where to find me. Despite our differences, I still hoped for a visit.

Part of me was soothed to think that the reason he did not appear to me again was not from lack of his trying but of not knowing where to look.

It would be more summers than I could count before our paths would cross again. But as he had said with the elves relations with men; where leisured conversations on differences dealt death blows to friendship; treacherous circumstances of shared dependence often birthed tight alliances.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Summer well after midnight 2450 T.A.

Elated by my successful luring of the warg away from my herd, I galloped easily ahead of the tired beast's pursuit. It was his foul scent in the darkness which alerted me to warn the others well before he could be heard, yet the wind was no longer on my side. When I passed near to a boulder, another warg leaped out unexpectedly, landing before me salivating as he eyed my flesh. Determined to survive I reared up, startling the creature with as loud a whinny as I could muster. As expected, he attempted to make a lunge for my belly but I came down quick and hard and stomped upon his thick skull until he lay crushed in a matted bloody lump beneath my hooves.

I did not move swiftly enough for the other warg who had been chasing me before soared into the air toward me. Though my wits were on fire and I took off in a sprint before he could sink his jaws into my back, his icy claw managed to graze my shoulder and rip it open as I tore away from his grasp.

It was not deep at first, but every gallop from danger opened the gash further. Though my enemy was once more falling behind, I was now hampered by a wound and uncertain of the longevity of my endurance. When the warg cried out in a death call behind me, I did not turn to see who had ended its life. Haldir had warned me, a foe of my enemy was not necessary a friend of mine.

At last I reached the ridge over which I knew my herd waited, but any celebration for the reunion instantly dissipated. By the light of the stars I witnessed a band of orcs had divided my frantic family into three groupings, one of which had in it a young filly with a black coat. Everyone I loved was surrounded on all sides by our weapon bearing foul enemy. The worst of this vision was a black stallion carrying the proud commander of this legion. I recognized him instantly as my elder brother who was taken after my father's death. He was wild-eyed and frothing; driven to betray us by the curses and whips of his gnarly master.

Bolting forward in a wave of furious urgency, I charged, whinnying my warning. The enemy troops growled their protests and their commander snarled ferocious orders from his mount as he slashed his weapon into the air in my direction.

Arrows immediately shot around me. I ignored the two stings that hit me and trampled several of the scattering predators as if they were but dry leaves. An elder mare and three of my sisters took the opportunity I provided them and escaped through the easement. I ran with the four I had liberated until they were safe, galloping toward the mountain with a dust storm at their tails. Returning to the rest of the herd I witness my uncle, inspired by my initiative had burst away from his corralled grouping and was charging into the fray of offenders. He was just as intent to provide freedom for those who remained and I thought perhaps together we might tackle the entire army and teach them a lesson but he dropped suddenly to the ground and lay still.

I arrived only to be intercepted by the leader who had enslaved my brother. Though I ran with fear from death, running side by side with such familiar footing brought back the affection from my youth. My black brother was always swifter and surer than I and yet he would allow me to almost catch him each time he challenged me to a sprint. I felt his hot breath at my shoulder and saw his master swing his sword. I will never know if it was by my improved agility and speed that I maneuvered beyond his reach; or a slim possibility that loyalty to family still lingered in the heart of a slave?

When they abandoned their chase of me I thought perhaps it was the pinking sky which warned them the light they hated was on its way. If only their defeat could be so simple; devastation at the truth filled my temper. There in the center of the disarray, a single black filly was surrounded by a nightmare. Her ears flattened in terror and confusion as the creatures of disgusting filth whipped her and threatened her with their swords.

Though my feet gripped the dirt for every trace of traction I could take, before I reached her a rope was thrown around her neck. My brother now showed himself a traitor beyond imagination. He trotted right up to the captive, collaborating with his masters to calm her into submission.

Furious, I would not stand for another to be lost, but in my haste I forgot the danger to my own life and was again assaulted with crippling jolts of pain that I could not combat for the weight in my heart. A chorus of celebration rang out from my enemies as I stumbled but it was followed by a gasp as I pushed myself back up to stand. When I rose, my black sister was running alongside my brother, her noose in the hands of his rider.

The few others of my family left in this field limped my way in misery. I knew I could do nothing to protect them, but I offered meager comfort and stood despite my agony.

Slowly our enemy closed in about us, the stench of them burned my nostrils worse than the bloody piercings of my injuries. Despite the rising sun, they stayed to take sport in taunting us with slashes of sword and laughter at our pain. Despite any fear or injury, I gathered my strength, planning to rear up and damage them as I might before my end could be brought to me. But before I began the sound of hooves riding our way filled the air. At first I gloomily thought it might be those I set free returning to join our bloody death, but then I saw upon harnessed steeds there rode armored men with swords drawn. They all had beards of gold and their flowing manes whipped in the wind beneath their silver helmets.

So too, I noticed, were their horses clad in armor! Protection covered their heads and backs, in many of the places where I had been struck.

With fear our captors turned from us and ran to escape the onslaught of their own doom. I chased what was left of my herd away from the conflict as far as I was able and then had to stop for exhaustion and injury. They innately knew I would slow the run and continued as quickly as they might. I knelt and took to the ground as the sun rose upon the men slaying my enemies. My every breath was labored; but I could not let go. I watched in awe as the men not only chased the orcs, they prevented them from running away; they meant to slay them all!

In wonder I noticed one man fell from the horse that carried him. The stallion rode on, I thought for his own safety and kept my eye on the man. He stood just as strong on foot to fight; but clearly was at a disadvantage and though his comrades rode to rescue him, he was struck and fell to his side.

Then something beyond my comprehension appeared before me and I struggled to see in the blurring of my vision; but the stallion freely returned to his side without persuasion! In midst of the battle still raging, he knelt for his master. How much fear or training must there be for a slave to so willingly risk himself.

I lay my head down on the grass in as much exhaustion and pain as confusion. I could not watch any longer, and I did not understand what I watched.

At long last I was approached by the kind-eyed savior. They loomed over me in somber gawking. Their language was abrupt, and their words unknown to me for they spoke differently than Haldir.

One spoke words in a soft tone that I guessed were full of sorrow, though friendly. "This breed of horse is above all I have ever seen, father. And this stallion, larger than life... would that he could be saved."

Another man, more gruff, answered in more anger and disgust. "It is for the vanity of my eyes that I have let him suffer so much for this long... To stand so near such a magnificent living creature of his worth... An eternal lament if I shall never feel the honor again."

Fear caught in my chest as I watched the man lift a sword over me; my herd! I had to live to protect them...

In the distance a voice call to him in urgency and he hesitated. "Lord Freon, the elves have come... the dark haired ones from Rivendell, they claim to come in peace!"

The sword went down but not into my ailing flesh. In my blurred vision I saw in the morning sun tall, thin figures with long dark manes. They spoke with the men in words I did not understand, but full of charged energy.

The man who had almost slain me, seemed to offer an apology of sorts, "We only come into these lands seeking to protect this breed from a slaughter by orcs from the Misty Mountains... what you have witnessed is mercy in action for unless you can convince me otherwise, the tragedy of his fate is certain."

The younger of the men asked his question frantically and with hope, "Do you know elven magic, Lord Elrond, can you save him?"

"Not even elves could heal such wounds... you are fools to try, but I will not stop you," the man said and turned, leading the others away.

When the elf with the dark mane knelt beside me and touched me, I noted that though his coloring was different than my fair Haldir, the light in his eyes and his gentleness assured me, they were of the same nature.

He spoke in my friend's language as well and I understood his words as if he put them right into my mind. "Please tell me you are not Haldir's friend."

Upon hearing the name, I lifted my head, took in a breath and opened my eyes wide in surprise as much as hope. I wheezed and neighed and then lay my head down again.

"Elladen, Elrohir!" he called out and two others of their kind approached.

"Yes, father?" the two spoke as one.

"This horse is the one of which Haldir speaks excessively. You must find the emissary at once. Each of you take some of our party and ride separately to the villages of men he was to visit this spring. Bring him here by nightfall. These men may risk their lives to protect a horse breed they cannot tame, but not for one they believe is going to die... and I do not want to fight a hungry pack of wargs alone."

At his word, they left.

From my understanding of his instructions, I suddenly realized the men sought to save me from a worse fate than their sword! I had seen my uncle die suddenly just last night, and my mother too was pierced by arrows and unmoving before the warg came; but my father... I was still haunted by the memory of his painful screeching and kicking as the wargs feasted while he still lived. The men did not want that end for me and my eyes were suddenly open to the valor of their true nature.

The elf with the dark hair reached into his tunics and pulled out a jar. He turned his blue eyes to me and spoke, "I have no apples, but what I have will help you feel better and sleep... and with any blessing, heal."

The soothing ointment aided my mind to drift from my wounds to thoughts of my friend and regrets for my treatment of him. If men were so merciful to spare me my father's death, so generous to die to protect my kind who have done nothing but run from them, so caring for their lesser horses that served them that they forged armor on their behalf and so inspiring loyalty that one would return as I witnessed to save the one who harnessed him; how much more worth must be the character an elf such as Haldir?

As I faded to sleep, I wondered if I should ever awake again and if so, would he be there?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_The cool air smelt sweet, fresher and not just in the breathing as it came clear into my nostrils, so too was the wind clean and new on my face and against my chest. I galloped casually through a strange field that, although a crisp green color of sprin__g,__ somehow also glowed in silver and gold; as did all my surroundings. There were trees taller than I had ever seen and unfamiliar mountains covered with dazzling snow. Though I could not discern where I was or even if it was day or night, I was not disoriented and traveled boldly with unknown purpose._

"_My companion returns!" The voice was not carried through the wind from a distant being, but close, in my ears and of a language I never learned but understood fluently. I both recognized it with affection and yet felt its owner a stranger._

_Ahead my eyes caught the figure of being; more glorious than I could imagine the noblest elf king might be. His armor glowed gold and silver, yet translucent like moonlit water. I slowed my pace to greet him as I approached and saw in his silver eyes wisdom and youth together; power and kindness were in his smile._

"_How is your mood for a hunt?" His brows lifted and in hushed exuberance he added, "In the south I have perceived an eight-legged enemy; your favorite!"_

_Without conscious decision I bowed my head to his wishes and in a blink he became a comforting weight upon my back. I did not protest. I did not bolt. I did not even rear up at the shock of it. Though it was not the shock it should __have__ been but rather felt a welcomed connecting. When he took what I realized were the reins I wore he clicked and I became instantly aware of his wishes without a spoken word or any in my mind._

_We ran, together, faster than I had ever been capable. As one we traveled. All of his grandeur and wisdom belonged also to me, and my speed and agility I shared with… Oromë._

_As soon as I realized I was not myself, I fell behind separating from the godly companions. Running at my own, slower pace I was helpless to catch up with the great horse lord __Nahar__ of whom Haldir had told stories too grand to believe. I knew they were true now, for I watched in desperate loneliness as the figure of horse and rider vanished into a mist that swallowed this entire ancient world...  
_

Later in my wanderings after this time when recalling this dream, my consciousness became aware that it was more than fanciful sleep play in my mind; it was a memory: knowledge passed down from my ancestors. Had I not heard the story from Haldir of Oromë and Naher, I never could I have known that it was not my imagination but an actual experience of my greatest father. Often since that time whenever I have awaken with wisdom unlearned, rather than attribute it to my own intelligence as I have in the past, I now cherish it as the gift that it is. I recall it in as vivid detail as I might, pondering and meditating on it to wring out any bit of education possible. I have since decided that if we horses, unlike the elves and men, have no written words or speech to relay what knowledge our kind has accumulated this must be how we build our culture. How much more disastrous for us when a line of our stallions or mares is killed off? How much more necessary is it to breed and continue the line? It was an awakening of both joyful potential that led to my future decisions to mate and yet irreparable loss for the masses of us who were to be slaughtered by orcs.

Into the darkness as I awoke that night, came both the sounds of wargs crying out, warriors shouting commands and betwixt it, a sweet melody sung by a gentle voice. The song soothed me, though at first it's meaning was lost to my sleeping. When the words took form I heard them in a language I knew...

"Finrod, Finrod by tooth and by nail, for oath and for friend, by wolf and by moon, your life came to end.  
Finrod, Finrod but not for too long, away from your love; noble and true your deeds were seen far above.  
Finrod, Finrod be alive and be free, sing your songs, have your rest, live your dreams in the West...  
Finrod, Finrod noble brother, mine, when once more might I hear thy voice so divine?"

I blinked my eyes open and saw before me a golden river of hair falling forward around a face so near and unfamiliar.

My pain was now a dull throb and hearing in the distance the sounds of hooves digging into dirt in dancing displays I felt need to rise and join the fight. As soon as I attempted to stand, strong weights grasped my ankles and I was held in place.

"Shhh... Lay still, brave one." She spoke as light as a bird's song and convincing as a spell. "You are safe... " To another near by she called, "He wakes! Elrohir, as soon as they finish, fetch your father and Lord Haldir."

It was not long before swift feet rushed to my side and my eye spied a large friendly form in the moonlight.

"Celebrian, please tell me your song has worked it's magic," he pleaded in hushed, worry.

"It was my mother's song, not mine, and yes he is improving," Celebrian spoke. "Apparently my Lord Elrond's potions heal horse humors as well as the pains of elves."

On bent knee my friend took her place and he made a gentle gesture as if to stroke my cheek, but did not dare. He was marked with mud and blood as if from a battle and yet looked himself unharmed. His eyes did not meet mine.

"It is a blessing for which I will forever be indebted," he whispered and then his eyes met the lady's when he added, "Name your desire, Lady Celebrian and it will be mine to fulfill."

Clinking of armor signaled a concern in my heart but a voice of the dark haired elf stilled my fear. "Keep your proud professions and promises for your own future proposals; my wife and I were honored to help such a breed as this... I ask only this, that you make a good impression on these Éothéod admirers."

Haldir stood and I witnessed approaching the man who had nearly ended my life. It was strange to hear my friend's lovely voice speak the guttural language of the men, and though I could not understand the meaning, his intention was clearly a befriending.

"Great Lord Freon, grandson to the mighty Fram who is known to us for his slaying of the dragon, Scatha... I am Lord Haldir of Lorien, Emissary to Lady Galadriel and her Lord Celeborn, the parents of Lady Celebrian whom you have just met, wife of Lord Elrond of Rivendell. I most humbly and with much gratitude offer you my utmost respect for our common adoration of these mighty creatures and your protective service to their kind... especially this one which has grown as dear to me as any friend could."

After his long phrasing he gave a bow with a hand over his heart and received a response so warm with welcome that any horse might hear it as an invitation to join their herd.

"You speak our language well, Lord Haldir and I am impressed with your knowledge of my family... but even more so your great affection for a horse. I would have thought you one of the Éothéod if I had only your actions to judge."

"I count such assessments among the greatest of compliments I could receive for having fought alongside you and your company this evening. Your people stand out among men as true warriors of worth!"

There was a pause between the exchange that left me some discomfort and the response Haldir received sounded to be one of sad offense.

"Given that you slew the lion's share of the wargs with barely a batted eye and without a mount, I cannot say I see your words as anything but an amusing attempt at flattery! We fight well for men, you mean to say, but not in comparison to elves, I infer." He turned from Haldir and spoke to the dark haired King. "Lord Elrond, we will continue our protection of the horses in these lands with your permission?"

"Of course you may, and we will join you in our own time... be well met, my friend."

"Farewell for now," the man said and then gruffly departed.

A long silence followed after the men rode away until the dark haired elf broke its heaviness. These words confirmed my estimation of the exchange I could not comprehend. "I am not certain Lady Galadriel would have wanted your first announcement as her Emissary to go so... disastrously."

Haldir squatted beside me and did not answer. I lifted my head to see his pained expression as they conversed.

"Not completely, Elrond," Celebrian lilted, "The man lord is not declaring war, merely making note that he is not so swiftly won by words. It is a good lesson, Haldir, men are proud and the wisest can see through a disingenuous nature."

"It was not a fabrication, m'lady," Haldir grumbled. "It is no insult to say they fought well, for men..."

With an insulting tone, the dominant Elrond rebuked, "And you speak well for an elfling."

It was the same dismissive disregard my mother had taken with me and seeing how hurt Haldir was, I snuffed a response in disgust and rested my head.

Celebrian laughed at my response. "It seems his new friend disagrees with you, my love!"

"Mmmm," Elrond hummed.

"Let us leave them some space alone," Celebrian said.

A long while after the others had disappeared from my view, Haldir lay in the grass beside me, his head by mine, his hand running over my mane. He did not confess a thought or share a feeling, he merely stayed with me a hollow figure, until morning came and then again twice more until finally I was well enough to rise and walk.

...

Haldir said no words, but walked with me for two moons, scaring off any who dared approach. It seemed only the look of him with his hand on his sword was enough to send small parties of orcs fleeing in fright. Though we saw no wargs, twice he was called to action by larger groups of orcs that thought they might have enough numbers against him. I stood in awe at his strength and speed at which he cut them down. He did not chase any that ran, and I knew better than to flee for safety before I was at full recovery. But also I felt it ungrateful to leave him alone; he did not have to stay with me, he for some reason chose it.

His silence was as much a mystery to me as was his yielding to my gaze. Not even would he ask small questions after my condition, though he did look at my wounds and offer a supplement of carrots to the grass I would graze. Whatever this guard that had raised between us felt to me a shunning of my intellect, a denial of our connection and if I had not the confidence of his loyal attentiveness I might have doubted the friendship altogether.

That is, until he seemed moved by a brilliant purple sunset whose color reflected in dazzling sparkles over the mountain snows.

"It is like the crystal caves... a breathtaking beauty which echoes the stars in its billowing caverns," he gushed. "This site is a testimony to my hastened youth. Every treasure I foolishly grasped after for my focus was always on my personal gain... how greedy I am..." He glanced down, thoughtful on his regret.

How magnificent was his sorrow over the loss of what to me seemed trivial!

I nickered and walked past him, disinterested in self-pity. By his encouragement, I looked on the colors. Through his elven eyes I attempted to understand the importance of what I saw; so many evenings, so many sunsets, was this one better than yesterday's or tomorrow's? It was a colorful light and to see it brought me some measure of peace.

I had not thought about beauty before I had met Haldir; his was a strange allure that awoken that sensory to me. The ugliness of the orcs had first stirred hatred for darkness in my gut and disgust came to me at their deeds. But it was upon seeing this mighty, endearing elf; upon hearing his melodic voice and growing to know his language and his character, his stories and his people that I fell under the great power of aesthetics to distract me from my own cares. It was a beautiful sunset.

Mine was a life of looking for water, eating grass, protecting my herd, playing silly games and eying dominance in my future. When he would visit, such needful duties felt mundane and easily set aside for the desired presence of a friend who brought higher persuasions. Persuasions such as this sunset which was beginning to fade in color and which I would have missed, as I did most other nights, were it not for my elf friend. Neighing my agreement of his declarations, I turned and saw his gaze was still on the ground; lost in some unspoken thought. I neighed again to him and again, until he looked upon me and I saw hues of purple glistening in his eyes. I nickered and nodded and gave a dig to the dirt with my hoof and then looked again into the dimming light.

He came to my side, his eyes on the mountains.

"You confound me," he said, hoarsely. "Such a fool am I to not apply the lesson I am learning in the moment, rather than bemoan my past mistake!" He continued to stare at the darkening sky as he spoke. "The crystal caves are still there, but this moment is passing and it would have passed me by without your insistence I take time to notice it longer." He did not look at me, but his chin quivered in a most emotional display since we had come together again. "They told me..." he started and then he looked down and swallowed. He let out a sigh and then looked me in the eye and said, "They told me I was a fool to think you judged me... to think a horse capable of such complex thoughts as I attribute to your simple responses."

He watched me with expectation and I snorted at the insult and looked away from him.

"And even in that I discern what I believe you to be thinking! Even my brother who befriended rabbits thinks I went too far in my imagination! And yet, I cannot deny I wish it to be true so much, that I do not care if I am wrong. I prefer to be a fool who talks to a horse than live in a world where you are not what I think you are!"

I turned my head back to him and in my frustration for lack of speaking I nudged him with my nose right in the center of his chest. He gave way and stepped back.

"What does that mean?" he asked. "Make yourself clear."

I stomped in front of him and raised myself in a tiny rear, coming down so close he jumped back. As soon as he steadied his footing, his face in some honest fear, I move close again, my face up near his and I stared at him in his eye until he broke.

"You do understand?"

I nodded my head as he showed me and for the first time in more years than I care to remember, he threw his arms around me and held on.

"I knew it!" he said and laughed. I whinnied my own amusement and when he let go he backed up and covered his mouth with his two hands. His face lit with such joy that I thought he would out shine the moon.

That was the first nightfall after my wounding that I felt my friend was with me again. All through that evening until the next morning Haldir poured out his prose and all the many secrets he had kept from me while I healed. He began with an explanation of why he had taken crystals from the cave; for adornments on a dress he gave to a lady whom he had intended to mate, but found need to reject. The complications of elven courting rituals were a tiring comprehension, and so I listened only lightly; feeling his need to speak was greater than my need to hear. He spoke also of his apprenticeship as emissary and how I had been his first foreign relation; an amusing honor in my mind. When Haldir spoke I could picture in my mind images I had never seen and grew in my desire to visit places I had never been. He told me more of his family and his love for his brothers, despite their dubiousness of our encounters and how as much as he fancied making new friends of strange races, his heart always called him home.

It was only after that conversation and much more lamenting over his earlier withdrawal that he admitted what we both had been avoiding: I was strong again and we would need to find my herd. For another moon we searched until we found them and as a mixed blessing that they had been joined by a stallion, not quite as tall as I, and less aware or wise but more fiercely aggressive. As to be expected, he was not open to my rejoining their ranks. I watched my sisters from a distance and my younger brothers and it was almost as though they did not recognize me. Yet I was relieved that they were safe. He would be a good stallion for them and he would make a good father to new foals and fillies; a role I had no plan or desire yet to fill.

"We share this too, my friend, for as I mentioned, I have lost the welcome of the ladies in my life as well," Haldir said. "I suppose we should find brothers for you, perhaps in one of the bachelor herds we have seen in our travels?"

We walked away together and feeling his sincere solidarity brought me back to what I at the time thought was my dream and the loneliness of it departing from me when I awoke. Had Haldir invited me in that moment, I do not know if I would have been ready to join his family, but as the summers passed with my new brothers, it was not the company of my birth herd I longed for.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 ...2450 TA**

We did not graze with absolute ease with our surroundings, but the safety and peace found living in a band of other adult stallions was far superior to the constant stress of looking after witless foals and elder's competing over mare attention. Each of us in my new brotherhood was strong and aware, looking out for the others, and our leader was so obviously wisest and most powerful that none had any mind to test his authority with a challenge.

Clean and white as the snow on the far off mountaintops, my eyes required an aversion of direct glance when the noonday light hit upon his coat. He stood taller than any stallion I had come near; I felt but a colt near him in stature and maturity. He made known his awareness of our talents and made use of my attempted contributions of opinions swiftly and with faith. My keen senses were sought especially during night watch and from my new father I learned the benefits of quiet traveling and hiding from danger rather than relying only on speed.

As the summers passed we would chance to come across others of Haldir's kind who were never as interested in our band as I was to discern if my friend was among them. After many such failed inspections it occurred to me that while all the other elves moved in groups, save when he was called to my aid, Haldir had always presented to me alone. He had only ever upon our first meeting relied upon a horse, while nearly all elves passing us by rode the lesser of our kind. Observing the behavior of a group of elves who camped near us one evening and recalling many of the stories Haldir had told to me of his people, I decided that his elves were a social race who, as we horses, preferred company. And yet for some reason, Haldir did not.

Inspired to curiosity and concern by this revelation in the face of my friend's usual solitude, when at long last Haldir appeared again I was much relieved that he did not walk alone! His elf companion was slightly smaller, but also blond and of similar features. He followed my friend a step behind and when reaching close enough to elicit notice from my herd, they stopped their approach and sat. It was a wise move and having found favor with our white father I felt no apprehension seeking his approval to offer them a welcome.

Snorting lightly I bowed my respect and then directed my gaze to my fair friend. I pawed my hoof lightly, pleading and then met his eye with hope. He stepped toward where they sat cautiously and looked for a long time, sniffing the air and pacing before them before he lifted his head in casual permission. I trotted happily to the two elves and they both stood, Haldir with confidence and open arms, his companion clenching his elbows with suspicion.

"I was beginning to think I dragged my brother all the way to these lands only to be snubbed!" he said and gave me a warm pat on the neck. I nuzzled him with my nose against his neck and in a whisper he said, "I have missed you as well... please, be gentle with Orophin, I knew not if your new family would be wary of swords and he is unsettled about being here in the open unarmed."

"What did you say to him?" the other elf asked. "Haldir?" Haldir turned to him and he asked, "Can he understand me too, or just you?"

"I told you I taught him Sindarin, we do not communicate thought to thought... introduce yourself and ask him a question, you will see."

The situation felt odd and I recalled my dream in which Nahar had heard Orome in his mind. I watched Haldir uneasily at the memory and took a step back away from them.

"How many horses are in your herd?" the elf asked. "Stomp the number." He picked his foot up and put it down as if to teach me.

Haldir put his hands on his hips and exclaimed, "I taught him language, not mathematics, Orophin. Are you so determined to prove me a fool that you will not even consider being fair?"

"You said he was smart enough to judge your character, but any response he gives of an emotional nature can be read into by our own projection. Get him to provide an absolute answer to a logical question and it will prove his communication is genuine." The elf then said to me, "There are two of us elves here." He stomped and then stomped again. He pointed to himself and then Haldir. He then pointed to my family and said, "You tell me by hooves in the dirt, how many are in your group. Stomp it out."

Given the hostility in his voice, I had no mind to try to play along and I gazed at Haldir who also seemed uneasy. He began to speak and his brother interrupted abruptly, "No! Do not help him. It is a simple question that a wee elfling could answer. If this horse has the elder wisdom you claim, let him demonstrate."

I backed up again and snorted at the way this little elf displayed such disrespect in his tone. As much as I cherished any time with the fair one, I was displeased that his visit was for the benefit of someone so rude. I turned from them and began to walk away.

"Where is he going?" Orophin asked. "Where are you going, horse? We are not done speaking to you!"

At that tone I saw the other stallions in my herd take notice with distrust. I stopped and turned only my head to look. I snorted at them and watched as Orophin took several steps toward me, approaching with all the confidence and challenge of a stallion trying to establish his dominance. Not standing for it I jumped around and charged him.

"Orophin!" Haldir cried out and was sprinting to his brother's aid.

It was unnecessary for I stopped just short of his tiny cringing figure and let out a loud whinny that drew both my alpha father and his second close to stand by if I should need aid.

Haldir put himself between his brother and myself and wore an expression not of fear as much as surprise and disappointment at my behavior.

"He is mad! A wild, unsafe creature!" Orophin declared.

"He is wild, but I do not think he would hurt you," Haldir said, "He is displaying his dominance. I told you he has the character of an elder and you have shown him no respect." He looked my way searching for confirmation and I snorted and stepped backward, interested in the due scolding. Haldir continued, turning to his younger brother. "When I told you to ask him a question, I meant, a personal one... as if meeting a friend for the first time, not quizzing a student on a lesson... now if you want to follow my instructions I will let you try again, but we can go now back to Rivendell if you prefer to abandon your quest."

His brother scowled at him without submission until finally he gazed down and nodded meekly.

To me, Haldir inquired, "Would you be so generous, as to once again endure my brother's approach?"

I hesitated a moment and then gave a nod. At that his brother's eyes went wide. He nervously approached and asked, "Did you just nod?"

When I looked at Haldir with warning, my friend said, "Yes, he did. Now introduce yourself to him..."

"I am Orophin, Haldir's brother." He looked over at my white father, who I could tell from his twitching ears was quite amused by this encounter. "Is that your brother?"

I shook my head and stomped. I then made a gesture with my head and turned toward the south. I took a few steps and looked longingly to those hills.

"What is he saying?" Orophin said.

"What do you think he's saying?" Haldir asked.

"No... that... his family is far away."

"You are already beginning to speak horse!" Haldir chuckled. "Now tell him something about yourself."

Orophin came to my side and said, "I used to talk to rabbits... little furry creatures with long ears?" I turned to him, curious and he made a gesture with his hands that reminded me of a picture Haldir had once shown me and the corresponding creature we would by chance come upon often. In fact I could even now smell several nearby. "I thought them my friends," Orophin continued. "I doubt they understood me as Haldir says you understand, but they were affectionate and trustful of me... Do you understand what I am saying?"

I let out a breath from my nostrils and took a few steps toward bushes where I knew the rabbits to be resting. As soon as I came close one ran out and scurried through the field to another outgrowth of trees.

"Ha!" Orophin said. His excitement was amusing and I watched as he exclaimed to his grinning brother, "How did he do that?"

"I taught him what rabbit means and he has a keen sense of smell. Now that you have your concrete answer, converse in abstracts; he may teach you something if you can listen well enough."

With a smile that covered nearly his whole face, the youth came back to my side and sighed in clear admiration. I glanced at Haldir, who seemed proud. Then the elf grew thoughtful and his forehead became creased.

"Haldir said you are very compassionate about loss because you have had so many of your own." I continued to stare at him and he said, "I lost my rabbit friends, they were killed by one of my fellow elves... I have forgiven him, but it was not easy. We are not exactly friends... we are somewhat rivals for the same female, actually..."

After the long monologue, I glanced at Haldir again and saw my friend chuckling at what felt my expense.

"Do horses fall in love?" Orophin asked.

I knew the reference of 'love' from Haldir's stories of his courtship ritual and looked at the young elf letting out a snort at the thought of elven complexity. It elicited a smile from him.

"He may be too young to think much of mating yet," Haldir called to us.

Calling back, Orophin asked, "What do you think of asking him for a ride?"

"No!" Haldir said sternly and started to walk toward us, but he did not reach us before I turned and ran away from the pair of them, unable to get my point across more clearly. "Look what you have done!" I heard Haldir scold his brother again as I rejoined my herd. "I told you, these are not service horses. They are wild and autonomous! Nobody in Middle Earth rides them save the orcs who beat and torture them into submission! Do you understand the violation of trust you have just proposed?"

"I am sorry!" he said and pulled away, heading up a bank away from Haldir, who merely watched him go. When he disappeared over the top, my friend turned to me and I left my group and moseyed toward him.

"Please forgive me... I wish I could stay longer, but I have to attend to him... it is not safe for him to be alone, even if he had a weapon."

I started up the hill to see that his brother was heading for a group of trees. Haldir followed me and when he reached my side, he said, "We left Rivendell and his love Anaria who will only ever be a friend to him now. It is more than she would be decades ago, but barely enough for his broken heart. He continually looks for ways to impress her and I believe that was the source of his short sighted question."

With a nicker I turned to look back at my herd and saw our father looked ready to move.

"Orophin is a bit bitter since that episode nearly 300 years ago, but he has only recently reverted to a stage of disheartening immaturity. Ever since I became very friendly with the lady Muriel and her husband, his situation has appeared worse. It may be because his friendship with Anaria is merely cordial and she speaks in careful tones in his company." Looking after his brother again, he said, "I fear for him on the day my brother Rumil fulfills his intention to visit Rivendell. He has sworn all interest in Lady Arwen has faded in his mind, but knowing his character and graciousness as I do; it is grace speaking and given how much she detests me because I am arrogant, he may win her because he is humble! I will surely visit you and tell you of the drama, if you have interest?"

I snorted in the negative and Haldir chuckled. I gave him a bump from my nuzzle on his shoulder to clarify my comment as humor.

"Whatever the case may be, you are the only one I may speak freely to about the matter of his potential courtship without betraying my brother's confidence; he has sworn me off talking to even him about it! Though, he does permit every other topic, which is to my benefit for there is no other friend to whom I may speak on many matters without worry that I shall be a bad example or have it held against my rank and position... besides you, of course."

He patted my neck with a grin and sighed. "I do wish the two of you could meet. Perhaps when he does make that journey to Rivendell I might convince him." His eyes indicated that his mind was far of in thought of home, likely, and I believed he would soon say his fair well, but he took in a breath and said quickly, "Oh! Did I tell you yet that I have become a full fledged Emissary? ...no longer an apprentice! Within the next two hundred years I will likely also become March Warden... if you remember, that is alpha to the guardians of our realm. I am confident that I am stronger and more quick at wit on the field than he who leads us now and I have already surpassed him as the most sought after tutor, even by elders. It is only my respect for his eldership which keeps me from making... I guess what you would call a challenge to his authority. By my brother Rumil's counsel, my king and queen will appoint the position to me by need if he does not step down of his own accord. I am pleased to abide until such time for else I may confirm everyone's accusation that I am too arrogant to lead... which may be true since I am even speaking as I am... but again, to you it does not matter."

This word 'arrogant' of which Haldir spoke confused me as much as their polite rituals for succession in dominance, but as I thought on how to inquire to its meaning, Orophin stopped at the edge of the trees. He squatted down and looked to be affixing weapons to himself. Once done, he looked back and then disappeared into the trees.

Haldir turned to me again and said, "Do not ever believe my not coming to you is for lack of want... as you can see my responsibilities are much more complicated than giving a nip or a nudge to an out of line colt. With every other elf under my command I can assign duties or remove responsibilities for such errant behavior... but with this wounded brother I must be gentle."

I moved close and nudged his cheek and was rewarded with his hand stroking through my mane. "Thank you for your friendship," he said, gave me a light squeeze and ran off swiftly after his brother.

When I returned to my herd, my white father looked at me strangely; not with disapproval, but with understanding and great interest. From that moment on I felt his intent attention on me, especially in my interactions with the others. Whenever I had occasion to sprint a playful race or bring a friend to the sweetest patch of clover, he noticed and made certain I knew he noticed. What is more, he did not permit his second to reprimand me on any account and he began to insist I drank third from the river.

While I was of age to seek a mare band and make a family, it was highly uncommon for someone as young as myself to take a position of elder among such an aged group of bachelors; and yet none would question our white father's decision, so why should I? But I did. I questioned everything. Why he allowed me to meet with Haldir, why he watched with amusement, why he put so much interest into me when I was clearly not as strong as more than half of those in our group.

More than anything, I questioned why I did not spend one day without the thought of my elf friend entering my mind in some capacity. It was a sorrowful distraction that made me more disheartened by the day. And though we could not communicate directly on the specific matter, I felt somehow my white father knew why my head hung lower than it should.

It would not be for many summers that he would confirm to me his compassion for my loneliness, and how to mend the spur like wound.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

After our white father's second stallion left for his own herd of mares I was sought as a successor to stand by his side, a position I felt ill at ease to accept. My hooves ran the same trails as this band of great stallions and the same wind blew through my mane, drawing to my nostrils the same smells of spring flowers that promised sweet fruits. But many springs had passed since I had found hope in the pleasure those fruits would bring and many evenings other trails tempted me away from these companions.

After careful consideration, one spring eve I indicated my refusal at a river; standing back from the water, looking into the distance as if disinterested in who might share the dominance with our alpha. A dark red horse, a gentle, yet strong youth moved forward and our white father did not stop him as before to make room for me. A tan elder gave protest and a short scuffle ensued until our father indicated his preference of the older and wiser selection.

The battle for supremacy had set some of the herd on edge, and a few even nipped at one another as the entire hierarchy was being reestablished. The lowest rank among us, a spotted youth who had joined only last summer took the opportunity to approach me with challenge. I gave in to him immediately, uninterested in any of what seemed to me pointless maneuvering. Though parched, I backed away altogether from the river and did not drink at all. It was sealed, I felt, never again would such an honor be offered and I was not in the least moved to care.

It was during this relinquishing of any future position within this band that I saw what I had thought at first was an illusion; a waking dream before me presenting the one image which might bring me hope. On the horizon were two companion elves, riding lesser horses side by side. They rode swiftly and behind them their blond manes flew in waves like the golden grasses in the autumn winds. Haldir had not appeared to me on a horse since first we had met, and even though my eyes could not make out the features of the faces from so far away, in my desperation, I abandoned my herd and took chase.

I had been weary with the weight of depression, and my mouth was dry in want of water, but inspired, I pushed ahead, ignoring my white father's whinnying commands to return. In aching pain for the striving of it, I caught the lesser horses and their riders. I was not disappointed!

Haldir it was, and another, with looks very similar to him. I wondered as I ran beside them if this could be his famous brother Rumil, of whose great character my fair friend had often championed. They did not stop their race even upon Haldir's confirming to me with a glance that he did indeed see me! In that small shift of his eyes my concern grew to anxious worry for I discerned fear in his eyes of the same intensity that I had felt on my last run with my birth family. Some great danger was afoot and I was determined to become part of his solution!

At long last, after all memory of need for rest and water had been shut from my mind by sheer determined decision, we came to a stop in a grove of trees. All around us, others of their kind dropped from the branches. Breathing in great draughts of air as I recovered, I swiftly assessed our surroundings to be nestled just a field away from a cliff of great height whose dark shadows indicated warning of danger in my heart. The countenances of the elves in company looked more distraught than I thought possible for such a powerful, fair race. I kept a few paces away, but close enough to listen.

"Lord Halron, in my grief, I could not prepare an apology worthy of my guilt," one of the party from the trees whispered.

"Ease your mind," the elder with Haldir spoke. "I am at fault for sending for this party and not leading it myself… now, tell me, when last did you see them; have they been below earth long?"

"It has been twenty five days total since they were taken."

Another from the trees said, "We sent word to Elrond two weeks ago! Why has he not come, where are his sons and the contingent from Rivendell to assist?"

"His seeing powers could not discern any details to aid us," Haldir's companion reported. "His eyes warn that their fate has become the darker part of despair."

A small elf gave great protest, "So we are to abandon them?!" He turned to my fair friend and demanded, "Do you agree with this decision?!"

Haldir remained as still as stone, but his companion barked, "No Oriel! Though I die, I will not abandon my wife to orcs!"

The name of the foul monsters sent chills over my back and I suddenly noticed the sky was darkening.

He looked at Haldir and said, "And my son has not spoken since he learned of his brother...but our intent is one and the same." Looking at the others he added, "We do not ask any of you to join us. This is our family. If we do not return, I do ask that you be a friend to Orophin. He will have no one."

"If Haldir is going, I am brave enough," Oriel spoke and a few others nodded in agreement. I remembered the Haldir's description of this Oriel as one from his stories of courtship. He did not seem a rival this day, rather the loyalty and admiration he and the others showed reminded me of the devotion we stallions felt for our white father.

Looking at my friend as the moments passed in patience, I saw a tremor of great emotion pass over his features before he spoke. His voice was small and cold; lacking any of the compassion I had so often heard in him.

"I have one purpose; to find what dark despair Elrond has seen that befell my mother and brother... and lift it if I can. If any of you choose to follow us into this dungeon of death..." He took a breath and then warned; "You will do so as if entering alone! For I will neither fight for nor rescue any of you should you be caught or lose your footing in the dark." He looked specifically at Oriel and said, "I do not need, ask for or even want your help. I refuse to carry any more lives weighted to my shoulder than those who went in against their will."

His words had a discouraging effect on the others who mostly backed away. Oriel, however nodded, put his hand on his heart, and I thought I saw a dimpling on his chin as if he was holding on to some great knowledge.

"Go swiftly and be safe!" one of the others said to them. "May Eru himself guide your way."

Haldir's companion, and who I concluded was also his father, turned to him and when they exchanged glances, I snorted and moved forward. As if not seeing me, they dismounted their lesser charges and turned the reins over to the elves staying behind. Intent to have his attention, I nickered and moved around the outskirts of the gathering, closer to my friend.

"That horse lingering about is your great stallion, isn't it, Haldir?" Oriel asked. "He is more beautiful than you described! Look how he stares... he knows... he is afraid for you, m'lord!"

Haldir did not look at me, but his father met my eyes. The pain in them was almost unbearable and I knew it went deeper than any I had ever felt. Such knowledge lessened the worth of my life in my mind. What is a horse, even of our breed compared to these elves? Who am I that I can lose my own parents and my sister and brother and not feel such strong loss as this?

"Return to your herd," he said to me warmly. "Do not burden my son further with your needs."

Haldir was still turned to his lesser horse where he was removing some supply or other and attaching small pouches to his belt.

From the cave across the field came a clicking and in the breeze I detected a stench I knew well. Suddenly I noticed the sky had darkened and the true nature of my friend's peril occurred to me at once. Distraught to simply leave him without indicated my understanding, or the depth of my care, I turned and stomped, not once, but three times.

All around stiffened and Haldir turned his head. Again I stomped, once for Haldir, once for his father and once for myself. His blue eyes stared widely at my hooves and I snorted my determination; though my heart raced at the foolishness of my assertion.

Haldir gazed up at me and then turned his entire body to approach. He took two steps and said in a tone that sounded to me more an order, "If you are truly my friend as your offer testifies, than be even more true and accept my refusal with no argument."

The dominance in his eyes took my breath away and I felt as if I could not disobey. I backed away slowly and when Haldir did not bend even a little in his determination, I turned on my hooves I sped off, running as fast as I could without looking back, drained of any will of my own save to do the last thing my friend had asked of me, and to do it as quickly as I might.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews. I am always so encouraged to read of how my stories are affecting readers. I feel this is a slightly strange story, it certainly is different from what I've written in the past and I really hoped it would give some more insight into Haldir's character from an entirely different perspective. Thanks to those who have favorited it and who are following! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Chapter 7

I ran that day as if running not for my life, but from it. I ran leaving behind my future. With heavy hooves I ran as if into the darkness and not away from the danger as Haldir had sent me. I understood I could be of no use to him in that cave and I understood his need to go after his brother and mother. Understanding did not lift the weight of burden, but added to it.

His bond with his family was stronger than mine had ever been; even when I was a colt. Certainly I cherished my birth band, but from an early age I had seen my brothers move on; I had seen our members die; I had seen my father ravaged; I had no misconception that life for a horse was transient and was expected to move forward and on beyond our connections to one another. Others I had seen bond more deeply for a brother or mate could become a lifelong companion. None of my contemporaries had yet been able to offer me what I had with one not of our kind.

Even when Haldir was gone for great lengths of time, I always expected he lived on elsewhere, in his home, with his family and might some day return to visit. If he did not, he was occupied with important duties. Never did I consider the fair one might actually have his magnificent life ended. His existence was as sure as the great mountains or the sea so that even when one traveled far from the sight of them, they were known to still be there, over the hills, in the distance; strong and glorious. What was this land without such features, and what was this world if my friend ceased to be.

As I ran back to my band, back to the white father I had rejected and abandoned, I felt the point of it only for lack of other destinations. Haldir was entering the lair of the foulest enemies; the center from where their great numbers sprang. He was spoken of by men and elves as a great warrior; even his own assessment was of a talent greater than the alpha guardian of his people. Over the hills, through the trees I stretched my legs and galloped, fearful to hope that his sword might be swift enough and his talent so sure that he would survive the treacherous an adventure. Only two of them, his father and he, against the darkness, the orcs, the worst of despair.

When after many days in my wandering through our known fields I finally found our band, I observed they had joined with another, larger herd. There was tension in the meeting, but our white father was in good company with the gray stallion leading his mares. My presence was noticed immediately and without hesitation I was approached.

As if he intended for me to explain myself, our white father bothered me with nudges, neighs and nickers. I turned from him with frustration of my inability to communicate. What fellowship had I with my own kind in comparison to the enlightenment of the one I feared I had lost? Yet his interest was of comfort, if only meagerly so. He would not leave my side by morning or night. When after many days and evenings of his constant inquiries I was not soothed to comfort, with nudges and nips, he led me from the combined herds.

I thought at first it was for discipline or to drive me away that he took me from the others, but instead he ran with purpose, leading me to a place I had never been but which seemed familiar for the stories that Haldir had told. My suspicion was validated when an elf riding upon a great blonde steed, bejeweled and ringing with jingling bells appeared.

My white father approached him fearlessly and the glorious, glowing being grinned in delight.

"Shadowfax! What brings you to Rivendell?" he asked. I stepped forward and when he looked at me, his face fell slowly to gloom as if a shadow had passed over it. "By the wood, is this Haldir's companion you have brought to us? Have you heard somehow of his tragedy?"

My white father answered in what was clearly the negative and it occurred to me suddenly that not only had he a name, but my white father could also understand the language of the elves!

"I will tell you what I know, but it is very little and full of grief. Haldir's brother, Rumil and mother were meant to meet him and his father here for a visit, but on the way they both were captured and taken by orcs. Lord Elrond believed their lives were forfeit. But Haldir's father, Halron would not heed warning and left with an intention to enter the Misty Mountains be it for rescue or death... it has been nearly half a moon cycle and no stirring has been reported from the place, though our scouts admit they do not watch it without fail, for their hearts grow fearful to linger near the entrance."

He paused and looked past us through the woods behind where we had come.

"Yet even so, for three days I have sensed devistation coming this way... a grief and sorrow I cannot name. I was certain evil may have sprung upon us when I heard your hooves."

"Glorfindel!" a voice shouted from behind the elf. The female who rode a gray, spotted mare had hair like the night sky void of stars. "From above my father has seen a figure approaching at great speed; he believes it to be Haldir, injured in some manner, for he travels with no heed to stealth."

Several others followed from where she came and my father and I suddenly stood tall among many of our lesser brethren who were tethered by straps and weighted by master elves.

"Has he been followed by some dark pursuit?" Glorfindel asked. "Or have my senses betrayed me?"

"Not that we could see," answered one of the dark haired elves I remembered from before; a brother Elrohir or Elladan. "But I too sense a foul presence."

"And I," said his match.

Glorfindel turned suddenly with his horse and drew his sword, putting my white father and I behind them. The brothers drew theirs as well, but the maiden only put a gloved hand upon her own weapon, keeping it sheathed.

In just a few moments I could hear the sound of heavy trudging, accompanied by labored breathing and I shuffled my hooves nervously, though there were but two feet approaching.

"It is only pain I feel from..." the lady whispered, "A presence... I know..."

From between the trees came a horror I could not believe. My fair friend, haggard and bloody, carried in his arms a bare, pale and muddied creature. It was curled up like a child at first, but at the sight of the elves, it writhed in the ropes around its wrists and the closer Haldir approached the more his burden became violent in attempts to be set free.

"What evil have you brought here?" Glorfindel demanded. "And why do you think we will let you pass?"

The two brothers were equally angered at his audacity. One raised his sword and said, "I will kill it in your arms if you carry it any closer to our home!"

"Should I in kind slay _your _brother?" Haldir shouted in a broken voice. In shock at the threat, the elf froze in place. With trembling Haldir looked upon what to me seemed an orcish creature with pained affection and grief. It gripped his shoulder and buried its face, weeping.

"What is it?" one of the twins inquired. "What did you encounter in that dark place?"

"My mother and my father are gone," he choked.

After a moment, the lady stepped her horse forward and questioned, "Then that _is _Rúmil?"

Hearing her, the ruined elf peered out behind slabs of matted hair, his eye fearfully taking vision of the princess. When she reached down to touch the creature, he squealed with a cringed and resumed his vile thrashing. Haldir dropped him on the ground at his feet and then knelt, trying to steady him with strong, struggling hands.

With tears in her eyes she accused, "He is only further tortured by our witness to his shame!"

Haldir took off his cloak and covered his brother so he seemed to disappear into dirt. The lady turned her horse and rode off up the path.

His hand on the mound of ground before him, Haldir looked up at them and said, "Please... I have no where else to go."

"We have not the authority to grant permission," one of the brothers said. The other looked up at the mountain behind them as if looking for some answer in the falling water above.

With a booming voice that shook my insides, Haldir called out to the Lord of Rivendell, high in is sanctuary, "Lord Elrond! Will you not even attempt a healing?" All life in the valley forest went silent at his plea, and I too waited in bated breath for a response. How could they spend so much effort on my life and not give any attention to a fellow elf?

Begging in a whisper, Haldir added, "Have you no mercy?"

The only return to my strained ears was the babbling of a distant river.

"He does not answer you, because he has prudence," Glorfindel retorted, "Even if he can be physically restored, Rumil will still carry this torment all the days of his life in Middle Earth!" My fair one sucked in a few breaths, bowing his head over his brother. "He will never be the same again, Haldir. You have already lost the brother you love... what Arwen said is correct, you only extend his suffering by prolonging his life. He could not make the journey to the Havens and across the sea into the West, not in this state. Have mercy and send him to be with your parents in the Halls of Mandos."

"I will not!" Haldir interrupted. He then gathered the cloaked body in his arms, lifted it without effort as he stood and added, "Hope is a treasure I do not give up lightly... not even if Elrond himself tells me to my face that it is impossible." He stared up at the mounted, jewel encrusted elf with defiance. "Kill him if you must, but you should first end my life, for I will protect his until my death... though mine I will lay down gladly and without struggle."

The two brothers, in my eyes, were moved beyond the capacity to protest, and given the choice to kill both elves or neither, Glorfindel also stood down.

Boldly Haldir strode past the other elves. So unswayed was he by their attempts at dominion over him, yet he did not present himself as a great warrior against them, but only an elf bent on seeing his brother healed. I had not yet seen Haldir fight with my own eyes, but such power was there in his words that I wondered if they were not the sharper weapon.

When he passed me with his great burden, I stood back, shuddering at the stench of filth on his brother. He glanced at me only momentarily, a wary aura upon him. I stepped behind Shadowfax all but regretting my witness. He had ordered me away from him before, and now he barely acknowledged my presence. I felt I meant nothing to him in comparison to his family; as his deceased father had said, I was bothering him with my need; which was only to know his fate, and now I knew it. He lived, but he was broken. He would survive, but would he ever again grace this world with his fairness or be forever shrouded in the pain of his loss?

After stepping away from me for a short interaction with Glorfindel, my white father came to me and nickered for me to follow him. I did not want to defy Haldir any longer, or embarrass him with my presence, yet I could not bring myself to leave for refuge with my own kind. I ignored my father's invitation home and walked toward the river I had heard. Once there I lingered, drinking and nibbling on the sweet green grasses that grew in the mist. My mind was full with memories of the attacks on our family, my stolen brothers and sisters, the slavery they were forced under and I wondered; would I have tried to rescue my brother if I could? Did I even have the potential for this 'hope' of which Haldir spoke?

I remembered my sister being caught before my eyes, led away to some horrible fate. Even if I believed she or my brother could be saved, what could a horse do against orcs? What strength or abilities did we have against their whips and weapons?

In my mind death was preferable to slavery; and yet without the protection of men and elves, it seemed our fate would eventually come to one or the other. The horses the elves rode were beneath me, dumb in their short lives, and yet were they wise to serve their protectors? Was safety worth slavery?

During that thoughtful time in Rivendell's entrance, as the nights came without worry and the days calmly stretched out, void of danger in this elven refuge, I again slept soundly and my ancestors dream came to me as it had before. I awoke thinking of the heavy burden Haldir had carried, remembering that to Nahar, Orome's weight was a comfort!

But for my pride it should have been obvious, Orome had no need to break the horse Nahar to enslave him, and likewise, if I would serve my fair one by choice, it would be as a friend; mutually beneficial; an equal companionship!

Trotting back to the trail that led to the city, I found grazing at the entrance, my white father. Shadowfax had not left the valley for home! He stood there, as if waiting for me, free and fearless of these elves; and they had made no move to ensnare or slave him. I wondered if all of their kind recognized and respected a horse of ageless understanding.

He came forward and met me as if waiting for my return and expecting this decision. I wondered if he too dreamed of Orome with Nahar's memories. I felt blessed, though fearful; what if Haldir sent me away yet again? Could I make him understand what I wanted?

I nickered to my father in my fear of the unknown and he bowed slightly, neighing boldly in return. He nudged me lightly and when I did not immediately take the lead, he ran up the path. My fears melted and courage filled my heart at his confidence. My hooves sprang to a gallop after him and I was off toward the city of elves, anticipation flooding through me with exciting expectation of an unknown future and I wondered, was this new, uplifting fear in my heart the feeling that Haldir described; 'hope'?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

While my white father and I wandered through the paths of the elven kingdom, mingling with the peaceful elves with their kind glances and gentle yielding to our passing, I lost track of the rising suns. This sanctuary with its sweet grass and tart fruits, lulled me to forget at times why I was here. There seemed to be no danger in the world and listening in on conversations became a favorite pastime of we wild horses.

There was little talk of Haldir, and he did not show himself, but from time to time Elrohir or Elladan would seek us out to inform us of the status of our concern.

"Still there is no change, and yet Haldir abides."

"The only hope we have is that Haldir will lose his."

"There seems to be no will in the one we once knew as Rumil, he does not even take water, except by great coaxing."

"Our father has resigned himself to the fact that nothing but his full effort will convince the Guardian of Lorien."

"We are going on march, we cannot bear to watch this futile experiment any longer."

For a week after their departure my white father and I remained until a day finally came when Shadowfax let me know he needed to leave. He did not do so cheerfully, nor did he ask me to come. I nodded, knowing my fate was my own decision.

Without patience I drew further into the city, crossing a narrow bridge and lingering where the elves lived. Here there was less to graze and I nibbled on potted plants and was even shooed by a stodgy elf who did not appreciate my attention to his garden. When Lady Arwen appeared, her soothing words led me to follow.

"You must be very hungry, please... we do not want you to waste away. Rivendell is known for its hospitality."

She led to the stables and when I would not enter, she brought out to me a handful of crisp hay. To this I was astounded! I ate gingerly from her delicate fingers and stepped in to see piles of the nourishing treat were laid out upon the floors and in boxes there was fresh water! I watched in amazement as an elf with a kind face worked in the back, running something over the coat of a lesser horse; who seemed to be enjoying the experience with much pleasure.

"You may have your fill," she welcomed. "Do not worry, we will not harness you. As you can see all our horses come and go as they please. The stable is merely their home where all their needs are met." I turned to her and her gentle smile moved me to step toward her, wanting to somehow show my gratitude for the gift of this knowledge. She lifted her hand as if knowing my intent and emotions flooded her face. "I am so sorry for your friend, I knew his brother... as I remember him now, he was gifted in his kindness and I took him for granted as he was... Haldir is being very bold in his defiance of my father. I do not know how much longer his patience will withstand." She stroked my mane and said, "Please, do not bring any more trouble to our city by eating Erestor's roses... I hope you can understand my request."

I was uncertain what was a rose, but I could guess her request was to remain here and I did so, feeling very lonesome.

And then one day, my hopes were renewed.

"I hear you caused more trouble for me than my brother," came that sweet, low voice I longed for.

Immediately I left the stall that I had made my own and came out into the center of the stable. I pretended to be angry and snorted at him, looking down at his lovely face. He was tired and wore smooth, colorful clothing; much less pleasant than his natural woody coverings.

"Why are you still here, my friend?" he asked. "Do you not understand that I have important duties to attend to? I cannot take time to be with you as if on an exposition."

His confusion frustrated me; how could he not know my concern? I moved closer and nuzzled his face. He lifted his hand to my ear and I heard him sigh. He pressed his cheek into mine and held it.

Breathlessly he said, "It has been so long since I have felt such affection."

I nickered my understanding and certain the exchange was mutual I stepped back, intent to communicate my decision.

His face was pinkish and slightly wet around his eyes. I nodded my head toward where he came and nickered.

"What?" he asked. I walked around him and out onto the trail leading up to the homes. He followed and I nodded toward it and gave a stomp and a nicker.

"Do you want to know how my brother is doing?" he asked, as if surprised. It hurt me that he did not realize my concern and I snorted at him. He walked toward me and said, "I am caught again taking unwise counsel. For when I suggested you could comprehend these dark forces, Lord Elrond insisted you followed me like a pup looking for treats... that I project my feelings... but you do care... you do understand what has happened?"

"Why should this horse not understand?" a gravelly voice asked from behind us. We turned and an elder, gray haired man with a beard and tall, pointed hat grinned at us and approached.

"Are you... an Istari! Radagast the Brown? I have heard of your way with animals, what good fortune that you have happened upon me at this moment," Haldir declared.

"Happenstance had nothing to do with it, Emissary!" he said as a scold. To me he turned and spoke much more kindly, "Shadowfax fetched Gandalf who sent me to help you... and I can see why, very dull is this elf... as if a wizard just happens to be anywhere."

"I have had a very long and trying time of late... I am not at all myself," Haldir offered as an excuse. Then he asked, "Can you tell me how much he understands of what has happened to my brother? I dare not go into details that might alarm him, but he is my friend and I wish not to keep secrets needlessly."

"Hmmm..." the bearded man hummed and still looking at me he said, "He understands more than you realize, but not as much as he should."

"How do you know this?" Haldir asked. "Is he talking to you?"

"What's wrong, can you not hear him?" the wizard asked in shock.

But then the way he looked at me, I could tell he was intentionally playing a trick on Haldir. He seemed to understood my thoughts on the rudeness of such a game and laughed lightly when I snorted my disapproval at him.

"You are sharp," he said to me. And then sadder, added, "Haldir's brother is worse off than your siblings, for they are not tainted with evil, but serve in fear. They will see many dark deeds, but their hearts will not be twisted." He turned and lifted his hand to put it on Haldir's shoulder and said, "Elves are strong willed and cannot be enslaved without much effort... but their conscience can be used against them - guilt for lesser deeds done can turn to despair which leads to..." His eyes were lost in thought for a moment and he then shook himself out of it and added, "...horses are mostly of clear conscience despite the deeds they are forced to do." Radagast placed his other hand on my shoulder and said, "This friendship is a good pairing, he will guide you to let go of your guilt, if you allow him."

I watched Haldir squirm at the pronouncement. It seemed his pain for his brother went as deep as his love.

"Your friend understands you," Radagast started, and then crossed his arms and explained, "He says that the greater the love, the greater the pain of loss." Haldir stared at me with wide eyes. "He believes that you must be suffering as much as your brother... he wants to help you, Haldir. You should let him."

"How can he help me?" Haldir demanded. "Tell me what he wants!"

With a crooked smile the elder said, "He will tell you himself, if you listen." The wizard twitched slightly, tilted his head and added, "It is easy to make guesses with horses, if you are wrong, they will tell you... wouldn't you?"

I neighed in my excitement to be so well understood by this being. At that the Istari walked on, through the city and out of sight.

Haldir sucked in a breath and studied my expression carefully before he began to question me.

"What is it you think you can do to help, because honestly, you being here is making my situation worse. I already am accountable for the damage you have caused and the accommodations and service they are providing you to keep you from causing more."

I moved forward and nuzzled his cheek to demonstrate my care for him and he stroked my neck and said, "I cannot stay with you; if you want to help, understand that I must remain by my brother's side... and you must return home."

Weary for the difficulty, I pulled away and returned into the stables and I walked up to reins that were hanging on the wall. He followed me, cautiously and when he was at my side, I nudged them with my nose and then looked at them and then at Haldir.

"Yes, I know these horses are enslaved, we discussed it... I cannot set them free."

I stomped at his ignorance and then nudged them again, nipping slightly with my teeth until they fell from the hook they were on. Haldir picked it up, staring at me and I nuzzled the leather straps in his hands.

"What are you doing," Haldir said, backing away. He looked around and said, "Where is Radagast, I cannot understand you."

Stepping forward I put my nose under the reins and lifted, attempting to instruct him to put it on me.

As if hit by the realization, Haldir backed away and pulled them from me. "What are you saying?" he demanded. I nickered in protest as he went to the wall and hung it up in a huff. Turning to me he argued with a fury I was not expecting, "A month ago I watched my parents die! And I am now witnessing the slow decay of my brother." He touched his chest and declared, "I myself have felt smaller and more insignificant in the past month than I could ever in my worst nightmare believed I could shrivel..." Pausing a moment, he clenched his jaw and then whispered, "To see you holstered, enslaved... it is too much... something of my world must remain whole and glories through this turmoil!"

He backed up and then charged out of the stable.

I followed him and whinnied at his stubbornness.

He retorted at me, angrily, "It is non-negotiable! I befriended you, I did not woo you to be mine! It would be a disservice to our mutual admiration for me to use you out of some pity you feel for my situation. You are as bright as I am and I am not flattered by this attempt to cheer me up by your own self-denigration!"

Someone passed by and Haldir stepped closer and lowered his voice as he went on. "Would you have me stand guard by your herd for the rest of my life just to keep the wargs away from you? Because that has crossed my mind until I realized my place is in Lorien, and yours is with your herd... they need you as much as my people need me... who are you to deny them?"

I shook my head and stomped, angry at the strength of his argument and my inability to give him my reasons.

"I am going to go be with my brother, I will not come out again to you. Go to your home and I will come find you and visit when my duty to my brother is complete. If you stay I must leave you at the mercy of the guardians of this realm."

When he walked off, I trotted after him and when he did not turn, I lunged, nudging his back a bit harder than I meant to. He toppled over forward, but quickly turned to his back just as I rose up on two legs above him and whinnied my displeasure.

"Do you need assistance, Lord Haldir?" someone shouted and I heard the sound of a sword being drawn as I landed very near to where my friend lay.

"No!" Haldir shouted, raising a hand to the elves nearby who were coming to his rescue. He jumped to his feet and said, "It is my fault, apparently I will have to personally escort him out." He approached me and said under his breath, "These elves are a danger to you if they think you are a threat. Please, let us leave the city and finish this conversation." He began to walk away, but when I held my ground, he came back and pleaded, "I am not of this land anymore than you, I have no authority here and will not be able to appeal to their senses if you prove to be insane."

Understanding his desperation, I had an idea that formed quickly into a plan. I knelt a knee and waited. When Haldir sighed heavily, I nickered in encouragement. He folded his arms.

"I think he wants you to climb on him, Haldir," one of the fair ladies watching said.

"Yes, I know, Anaria," Haldir quipped. "But I am not dressed for riding and he has never been ridden before. It would be ridiculous."

From behind the other elves a familiar voice spoke out. "When given an order by such a magnificent, wise creature," Elrond said, "It is more ridiculous to tell him 'no'!" Haldir looked at the elven lord and Elrond prompted, "Go for a ride, Haldir, I insist as a healer, it is necessary for your health."

With a grumble, Haldir hiked up his robe, revealing bare legs and brown boots as he climbed on my back. The weight was not as much as I imagined for his great size, and his warmth was also unexpected. Once he grabbed hold of my mane I gently stood. After a moment of becoming accustomed to the sensation and his shifting of weight, I happily trotted off, proud of my prize.

"I certainly can see the world from up here," Haldir said in a huff as I took him from the city. "But I am climbing down as soon as we are out of..."

Guessing his stance, I wasted no time and took off, running swiftly. I felt a tug on my hair at the jolt, but it surprisingly did not hurt. His legs pressed tightly around my sides, reminiscent of the comfort Nahar found in that ancient rider of his own. The more secure I could tell that Haldir felt, the faster I ran. I could hear his short breaths in my ears when I skidding around sharp turns in the dirt path, and his sharp cry when I came precariously close to the valley's edge. All the while I came to the realization that it was I, the horse who was the master and Haldir was my elf!


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: In Sindarin, Sul means: wind Lund means: tune and driel: crown... I shortened it to 'dry' as a way of naming a horse.**

**Chapter 9**

I did not stop running away from the city until I found a field where I was able to charge up into a full gallop. I circled widely through the white flowers, driving myself as if to prove to Haldir just what he would be missing should he refuse me; the speed, the power, the force... it was what endeared me most to being a horse of such a breed and I came around the field three times at my fastest before I tired and had mercy on my rider.

When I stopped, breathing heavily and sweating with a light layer of froth on my coat, Haldir continued to hold on tightly with both his legs and what felt his entire body, arms hugging my neck and hands gripping my mane in a delightfully pain laced grasp. Either he would fear me forever now or he would have found this an exhilarating experience with a potential companion who could offer him more than he could have with any lesser creature.

"Are you done?" he asked in a wispy voice. I nickered in amusement and just as he started to let go, I took a quick step and he gripped me again. I whinnied and bowed my head, my heart dancing at the success of my tease. "Not funny!" he said. I snorted in short dispute.

I felt him slide off my side and when he came before me I saw his hair was in disarray and his clothing wrinkled; but his eyes sparkled with the light of the stars and his smile was mischievous and droll.

"I could not have enjoyed that more even if I were not in fear for my life!" He blinked and then stretched his hands out as if to steady himself before he sat down in the meadow.

I walked around him as a stallion might a young foul, surrounding him as a treasure I would protect against any threat. His eyes followed me with great trust, admiration and a mirror of mutual affection.

"The wind was whistling a tune around my head like a crown!" I held my head up high, knowing exactly what sensation he was describing; that pitch that came to me when I hit my full speed.

"You are very proud of what you have done to me, are you not..._ Sullendry?_" He grinned at me and repeated the word whose meaning I understood from the piecing together of other words he taught me. "Sullendry. No other name would fit you." He lay down on his back and I walked up to him and looked him over, lowering my muzzle to his face. He scratched beneath my chin; an exquisite sensation. "A horse who is a worse tease than a lady elf... with your beauty and intelligence and now such a ride as that..." He dropped his hand and put it behind his head and his smile faded. "What is it you want, though... more than just one ride, I presume." I nickered my agreement and he continued to make his guesses. "You brought me to the reins... my heart tells me you mean to commit yourself to me."

Cautiously, I stepped back and bowed my affirmative.

"Would you not miss your own kind?"

I snorted, frustrated that I could not tell Haldir plainly how long it was his presence that I missed. All I could do was look at him, hoping he would understand.

Frowning, he sat up and said, "It feels selfish to say yes, but my mentor said that refusing the offer from another race based on what is considered gracious in elven society can appear an arrogant insult to the one offering it... as if denying they had realized what they were proposing..." I just stared at him and he added, "I suppose you have considered this decision carefully and what it has cost you?"

A nicker was all I could offer.

"Of course you have... we spoke in great length on the subject." Standing, he gestured with his hands and said, "Let us be certain I am not making any assumptions... Radagast said you would correct me... have you changed your mind about service horses being slaves?" I snorted my indecision and looked away and then back. "Interesting... do you mean to lower yourself to become their equal?"

I whinnied my offense and stomped.

"Then what?" he asked."I cannot accept a horse who is only available when the fancy strikes him. If you are to serve me, you must be willing to fulfill duty at need as I require it. I already have a horse that can follow my commands and does not change his mind in the middle of an adventure or danger... I will not settle for less."

The thought of Haldir on a lesser horse, bearing his comforting weight filled me with such an emotion that I could not remain still. I reared up on my back hooves and whinnied in protest. I stomped around and he moved out of my way in obvious concern.

He held up a hand and said, "I care for it, but it could never mean to me what you do... If you can bide his presence, I would also make a place for you in my home stables... for the opportunity to ride you, I would grant you liberty to could come and go as you wished... my other horse would be bound to be at the ready."

Again I stomped, glaring at him.

"I must have a horse ready to obey me, if you cannot function as if I was the master I must have another who..."

I snorted and looked away. I knew he was right, I merely did not like it.

"So we are at an impasse," he said. He rubbed his chin and added, "I am not one to give up..." Pointing at me he inquired, "Your desire seems to be remaining free while preventing the intrusion of another horse between us?" I nickered affirmative. "And mine is to be assured I can journey and protect my wood without needing to convince my horse of the necessity... there must be a compromise. Let me put my powers of reasoning with men and dwarves into play and see if I can come up with a solution as a valued emissary might."

Haldir paced a bit, thinking and I grazed, waiting for his conclusion.

After a considerable time, he stopped thinking and came to present to me in a less familiar and more noble manner.

"As I promised, I have researched Orome and Nahar, but there is very little in the annals on the formation of their companionship, or even the nature of it. Galadriel and my mentor are the eldest nolder I know and neither can shed any wisdom on the matter. However, upon meditating on one particularly important instance that is well known to us, I realized the importance of the story where Nahar discovered the awakened elves and brought us to Orome's attention. If then, an ancestor of yours can so readily be an assistant of great measure to a vala, then it is assured that you will bring me such benefit that is beyond what commands you obey. I would therefore be wise not to expect you to follow the example of Nahar, but rather, to myself follow the example of the hunter Vala Orome and seek the counsel of my horse, listening to his suggestions and trusting his senses... does that bring you comfort?"

I neighed, continuing to stare; wanting to hear more.

Haldir walked toward me and gestured as he said, "It is with that understanding that I propose to you that we feel our way through this relationship. Test it as we progress... for all we have both known is not desirable to us, but what we desire may fall naturally into place as we proceed. Negotiation of terms would be a distraction to such an organic friendship." He stepped even closer to me and went on, "We will train together, go on small hunts, and should a larger adventure or journey present itself, we will discuss the expected dangers and how we might face them. If there is a disagreement either one of us can, without harm of the relationship, confess to not being ready to test our bond."

I liked the sound of it and gave a nicker.

Carefully he added, "In the meantime I will need to keep my other horse trained in case either of us are disinclined to take a risk."

I tensed again at the thought and as if reading me he said, "Sullendry, you must promise not to get jealous, I must have other options..."

I neighed and wondered how he would feel if I took the lady Arwen for a ride. There was no way for me to ask him, so I looked away.

Haldir bowed his head and seeing him disheartened, I nicker. He looked up again and I nodded.

"A reluctant yes is a start..." he said and patted me. He looked into the sky and all lightness in his face darkened to worry. "It will be dark soon, I need to return to my brother... hopefully this news will cheer him, he has been asking about you. He saw you the day we arrived."

When Haldir began to walk back, I held my ground. He stopped and the sly smile on his lips curled into a grin.

"Will you ride at a less, life threatening speed on the way back?"

I neighed at him in good humor and felt a flutter of joy as he jumped upon my back with ease.

"It takes a good spring in the step to mount you, my friend." He patted my neck and I took a slow pace, as promised, enjoying the closeness, the bumping of his heels on my sides and understanding his nudging for me to move more quickly as if it was second nature. Just as it was in my dream as Nahar carrying Orome, it was if Haldir was communicating without words, speaking not from his thought to my thought, but from his heart and will directly into mine; and I felt glad to obey, as if it was my way of showing him I understood him.

When we arrived at the city, I carried him through, past the stables and to the steps I knew that led to where he wanted to go. I could not tell if he showed me where to stop, or if I intuited it, but when I came to a standstill, he slid off and stood before me.

"I would swear you were trained by a master, if I did not know better."

Behind him on the steps I saw a lady and shorter male elf were descending.

"My mentor and her son, Oriel," he whispered. When they reached us she spoke before Haldir could address her.

"How long do you intend to remain in Rivendell?"

"Until my brother is ready to travel..." he started.

"How long will that be?" she asked.

"I wish I knew, m'lady," Haldir answered.

"My son wishes to return to his wife," she said. "I will not send him back to Lorien unaccompanied by your protection, therefore I have a proposal to make to you and your brother to possibly speed along this process." She lifted a letter she held in her hand and gave it to Haldir. "Take this to your brother, perhaps it will give him the hope he needs to ready himself for the road."

She looked over his shoulder at me and when I met her eyes I saw a light in them that moved me.

"May I read it first, m'lady?" Haldir asked her.

She stepped around him to come to me as if she had read my mind. "If you do," she said, reaching her slender fingers to my cheek, "You may not want to give it to him." Looking over her shoulder back at Haldir, she said, "But I trust that you will be true to my request, however disagreeable you may find it."

The lady glanced back into my eyes and smiled and then withdrew and passed me. Her son remained with us as Haldir opened the envelope and read to himself. His response was as predicted.

"She does not offer me clear counsel, or descriptive direction, merely a detestable decision for my brother that all know I have fought against since bringing him here for healing!"

"I told her you would never agree, but she says it is not your decision, it is his. If not for my arguments she would have offered it to him behind your back... as it is, now you must once more prove your character by being fair to your own desires against that of another."

That comment halted Haldir's angst and tenderness shown on his face. Oriel did not look away from his strong gaze and Haldir held up the letter and said, "This must be as difficult for you as it is for me."

"No, do not pity me," he said. "I have been preparing for this moment since I learned of my mother's great age. I am sad, but not grieved... I am more grieved for your loss; I can not even imagine what you carry."

"Then you will understand my position when I say Rumil's youth makes this offer entirely unacceptable?" Haldir asked.

"Yes, and yet I also understand that he may choose it to ease himself of his pain... and if he seeks counsel from Elrond or any of the other healers they will persuade him to my mother's position."

"Indeed," Haldir interrupted. "I cannot risk revealing this letter to him in the halls of Rivendell... we must be alone."

"How will manage to convince him to leave the safety of his chambers?"

Haldir turned to me and with a smirk, said, "I will use Sullendry as a lure. Rumil will come with me to the field to meet him and there we shall have an open and honest discussion."

"Sullendry? So you have finally named him. How fitting," he said.

Looking at Oriel, Haldir ignored the comments and asked, "Tomorrow at dawn, will you help me by creating a diversion so that Lord Elrond will not come at dawn, but after we are well away?"

"Though I see more conniving than wisdom and am loath to attempt a deception of a seer such as the Lord of Rivendell, for the love of your brother, I am at your service." He looked at me and asked, "But will your Sullendry cooperate?"

Haldir looked at me and lifted his brows. "You only need to be in the field when the sun rises. Will you wait there for us?"

While I understood my part, I did not comprehend completely the words 'conniving' or 'deception'. In curiosity, I nodded toward the letter, wanting it to be read to me before I conceded.

"Have you taught him to read as well?" Oriel jested.

Haldir gave a scant glance at the smaller, cheeky elf and then said solemnly, "I told you of Valinor, where elves reside in a place without pain, where wait for us the Vala and those who have come before? Oriel's mother, my mentor is leaving this world. She has procured a place for my brother on the boat that is leaving next week." I saw the angst in Haldir's face at the explanation and had to wait for the emotion to pass before he concluded. "I do not want him to leave, but nobody else has hope that there is anything left for him here but suffering." He looked down at the parchment, running his fingers over the envelope and said, "I agree that it is his decision, but I hope to sway him to stay... to fight his despair... to live a longer and more full life... by my side."

At that time I did not understand the depth of Rumil's suffering or how long it would take him to recover. I thought Haldir noble in his pursuit of healing and wanted to be part of it without hesitation. I neighed and nodded my glad agreement; a decision I long questioned and have returned to often when thinking upon my part in Haldir's quests.

Haldir was both relieved and grateful to my agreement. He gave me a nod with a sparkle in his eye and then said, "With such as the like of us fighting for him, how can he give in to the darkness?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Sullendry Chapter 10**

I knew from many mornings in this valley that the light of the sun was evident in the sky long before it's rays peeked over the tops of the mountains. When exactly Haldir meant for me to wait for him within that time I did not know, so I left the stables at the first sound of the morning birds. As the sky shifted in grays to blues my anticipation of meeting his afflicted brother grew to full impatience with Haldir and a doubt that he could have achieved his 'deception'.

When at last two figures finally did appear in the field, I startled, and stared to examine them closely. One was indeed the bright presence of my fair friend, though worry marked his face. The other was cloaked in a dull fabric the color of a shadow with a hood shroud covering all save a sliver of pale, pointed chin. Haldir followed behind thin specimen and wary of the foulness I remembered, I kept my place, sniffing the cool morning air as they approached.

There was nothing but sweetness on the breeze so I took a few steps forward and met them. The brother did not lift his eyes at first and I glanced at my friend whose brows were pressed into creases.

"Sullendry, I would like to introduce you to my dear brother, Rúmil."

I nickered gently and sensing his hesitancy I stood patient for his response.

After several moments, Haldir asked, "Will you not even look at him?"

His small voice squeaked in response, "The sun is so bright."

"Your eyes will adjust. You only need to remove your hood and endure the pain for a moment."

When I saw the prodding was not working, I backed away and trotted for a place in the shade near the mighty falls. It did not take Haldir long to lead his brother to me. Once out of the direct light, the hooded head lifted and bright blue eyes gazed at Haldir from under it's cover.

"Go on," Haldir encouraged with a nod.

Carefully Rúmil's slender fingers took the edges of fabric about his face and pulled it away and back to his shoulders. He squinted sunken eyes in a pasty face and his thin lips parted when he saw me. There was no orcishness in this sad elf now, but neither was he the beauty I knew of their race.

Back and forth his eyes moved over me and he blinked, walking around me. To Haldir he inquired, "And you have ridden him?"

"Twice now, as I said; Sullendry is every bit of magnificence that I claimed, is he not?"

"Yes, you are easily given to exaggeration to persuade, but have in this instance been true to your word…" He put his hand on his heart and he took a step back, nearly stumbling. Haldir came to his side and held him up.

"What is it?" Haldir asked with concern. "Another flashback?"

His eyes stared at the ground as if seeing something in his own mind. "The black horses in the mountains… they have dozens of them… several were this size and of this beauty…" He searched Haldir's face and asked, "Did you see any of them when you came for us?"

"No… but I was not looking for anyone but you," Haldir said.

I stomped at the admission and turned from them, thinking on my family trapped in the darkness and me unable to help.

"What is wrong with him?" Rúmil asked.

"Radagast told me that some of Sullendry's family have been taken; you might have seen them…"

I glanced over and saw Rúmil pull away from his brother and approached me with a look of horror on his face. He raised his hand to me and reached out, his trembling touch telling me of his sympathy and then, after a long hesitation, he turned suddenly and asked of Haldir, "What are the chances of retrieving them? Any at all?"

"There is always a chance," Haldir said without any measure of enthusiasm. "It is only a question of how many lives of elves would we trade for it."

Rúmil stood tall and said, "I would go back in. I would trade my life to slay as many of them as I could and bring out your friend's family. I would not ask you to go with me."

Defeatedly Haldir pointed out, "It is suicide for you, and you know it."

"I would rather die nobly for a hopeless worthy cause, than live as the wretch that I am and will likely always be."

Haldir did not rise up in argument, but rather, his shoulders sank, as if he had heard this sort of request before and was weary of performing a futile response. He reached into his robe and pulled out the letter and handed it to Rúmil.

"There is another option," he said.

Rúmil took the letter and read it swiftly. He then earnestly sought Haldir's down cast eyes and inquired, "Is this your doing?"

"Absolutely not!" Haldir retorted. "I am against it with every _fiber_ of my being! But the choice is yours."

Rúmil looked again at the words on the letter and licked his dry lips. "It is tempting… there is nothing here for me..."

"Nothing here for you?" Haldir demanded. He gestured around the valley and said, "Are you blind? Have you forgotten Lothlorien is a hundred times more beautiful than Rivendell? That there is a home for you, full of those who love you? A future in any number of trades of which you excel?" With his hands on his chest, Haldir approached his brother and said, "Am I not still here for you? Would you prefer living in Valinor alone, for your mother is not there waiting for you, she's in..."

I interrupted Haldir with a warning neigh, for while he was speaking I had seen Rúmil squinting his eyes in an emotion I read as dark and deadly. Haldir glanced at me and in that moment his brother assailed him, hands around his throat, pushing him, but not with enough strength to knock the larger elf over.

I whinnied in my concern, stepping back in shock at the violence between elves. However, Haldir seemed little disturbed and without any trouble or seeming harm, he peeled the boney fingers from off of him and pulled his stiff brother to his chest.

"I am so sorry," Haldir said.

"I hate you!" Rúmil said.

It was a word I had not heard before, but burdened with such malice that it tore through my heart to hear it.

"That is anger and hurt you feel, not hate," Haldir corrected softly. In his arms, Rumil softened and stopped fighting the embrace.

Weeping he asked, "Why did you not slay me?"

"Do you need ask?" Haldir gasped. He held is brother from him and demanded, "How could I have lived after? I will never hurt you, and you know this from your birth!"

Rúmil pulled away from him and crouched down to the cool ground. He hugged his knees with one arm and placed his other hand on his head.

We stood there, Haldir and I, waiting, allowing his brother to process his thoughts until he was ready to speak again. At one point, Rúmil gripped a small rock and then let it go. He did this again and again until dropping it one final time and standing.

"Will you come with me, then?" Rúmil asked Haldir. "Leave Middle Earth and join me in Valinor."

Haldir's shock at the question mirrored my own.

"I…" Haldir started. "There is no room on this voyage for me, only for you."

"I do not ask if it can be done, I am asking _would_ you?" Rúmil asked. "Do I mean so much to you that you would give up your life here in Middle Earth, or are you merely asking me to give up _my_ peace so that you might have my company on your adventures?"

Aghast Haldir declared, "You think me so selfish, that I ask you to stay and be healed only for _my_ sake. I am risking what is left of my newly built reputation as well as paying all that is of material valuable to me to bribe the services of Lord Elrond!"

"I apologize, I did not mean to put you into debt," Rumil snapped.

"I would become a slave to pay for your health!" Haldir exclaimed, waving his hand in the air for emphasis, "For what have I but you?"

Rúmil shuddered at that announcement and looked down as if afraid to meet his brother's eyes. "If... you love me, then you would ask me what I want and support that decision."

"No," Haldir insisted. Rumil clenched his jaw and Haldir pointed at him and said, "I know you, I know your heart and I know what you want. You do not ask me for it only because your hope has been stolen from you." Emphatic he held both hands out and said, "You have only forgotten peace and love and joy… I seek that you remember the beauty of such pleasures and goodness, and when you do, I know, without any doubt in my mind, that you will certainly in retrospect, thank me for this option I offer you."

"I do not want to remember!" Rumil exclaimed.

"You will..." Haldir started.

Rúmil turned from Haldir, exhausted from the argument. His eyes seemed to peer into my soul, to read my sympathy for him.

"I know what it is to be helpless," he said to me. "To watch while someone you love is taken..." I nickered lightly and his eyes glossed over. After a few moments, he took in several breaths and spoke to Haldir, though his eyes were on me: "I will stay in Middle Earth and seek the healing you wish for me, but I ask you to help me in a cause." He turned to his brother and Haldir nodded eagerly. "Elrond has said my lack of desire to heal is my feeling of uselessness, that not being able to help my mother, I see myself as unworthy of healing..." Again Haldir nodded and his younger brother took a step and asked, "Perhaps if I can be of some use to this world; to take on some challenge and undo the evil I have witnessed... I will feel the desire for healing?"

"What do you propose?" Haldir asked.

Rumil looked at me and said, "Let us set our sights on freeing your horse's siblings…"

"I will not go back into that place!" Haldir protested furiously. "Not alone and certainly not risking you in your weakened state!"

"There is no need," Rúmil said wickedly. "They ride their prized possessions nightly. We need only find them when they are out of the lair…" His eyes followed the lines of my back and legs as he added, "It should be an easy enough task, for the great warrior Haldir on his equally gallant stallion."

Haldir's eyes opened widely and said, "We hunt the hunters? It would take... months... perhaps years to train sufficiently on a new horse."

"Would you be open for this rescue adventure?" Rumil asked me.

There was no way to fully express my agreement save to jump up on my back legs and whinny my excitement. When I came down and neighed at Rúmil for his generosity and kindness, his mouth raised in one corner.

"You... you are smiling?" Haldir asked. "I will do this, if you will stay then?"

When Rumil nodded Haldir wrapped his arms around him, picked him up and swung him around, the valley filling with echoes of his laughter.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sullendry Chapter 11**

It had taken several days after Haldir and Rumil had made their decision before I saw my fair friend again and weeks before he commissioned and fitted a saddle for my wearing to begin our training. His response to my refusal of the cumbersome seating was clever. The quick convincing took a single demonstration of his toppling off my back at a sudden stop when the lesser horses, fitted with full bridles and gear, maintained their riders expertly. In the discussion of the apparatus I was no less demanding than he and successfully demonstrated to him my interest in sporting armor as the Eorlingas fitted their charges as a condition for our mutual benefit in the compromise.

"Is it meant to be insipid?" Glorfindel complained when I proudly trotted out of the stables with my elf astride me in his full gear.

"It is meant to function," Haldir countered and then scoffed, "Some of us find it useful not to have bells announcing our presence."

Glorfindel grinned at the comment as he and the twins commenced a thorough inspection. "It seems only fair to provide my enemies a warning that their death is imminent."

Elrohir stood back and folded his arms, complaining, "I agree with Glorfindel. Such a magnificent creature deserves as much grandeur as your armor has been adorned."

"Neither do I approve," his brother announced.

"I did not commission this show piece of elven design talent that I wear, it was conceived by the armorer of my Lady Galadriel," Haldir retorted. "And while it is suitably efficient, I did not have the luxury of time to balance both form and function for my horse!"

While I was enjoying his defense, I felt Haldir's desire to move toward the road and stepped that way at the slow speed he indicated.

"However," he continued and a single bump on my right side indicated my turn to face them. "We shall need testing of our speed and agility with the added weight and restrictions. Therefore, Sullendry and I hereby challenge all three skeptics to find any reason not to call this equine and rider a Cavalry champion companionship."

"You have only just climbed upon that saddle!" Glorfindel exclaimed with a smile. "I would not put you to such an unfair test. Train with your friend for..."

"Two days!" Haldir called out with confidence. I snorted my agreement with a nod. "I shall wear ten flags and each of you five... unless you want more of an advantage?"

The indignant golden-haired elf gazed at the two brothers with dark manes and I could see in their expressions before they answered that there was great need in their hearts to place us under scrutiny.

"Are you opposed to an audience?" one of the twins asked.

"Invite all of Rivendell, I care not," Haldir made his bold proclamation and then I took his lead and carried him out of the city to where we might practice the limitations of the new leather strapping that bonded us to one another.

...

Haldir's intentions were as clear to me as my own as we moved in and around the lesser horses and their riders. They were but children on colts to me and Haldir's sword was longer and swifter than his challengers'. It was not a simple competition, nor was it over before we were worn, but we met every move without hesitation and often without forethought. He felt to be rising straight from my soul, an extension of my will and desire to conquer; an elf with the arms and hands swinging and gripping a sword I could not wield and I the horse with height and speed which transformed him into an omnipotent giant!

Having begun the contest at first light over the mountains, when the late afternoon warned of the real dangers of the coming evening, I was grateful to hear my fair elf speak a new strategy.

"I think we have proven our point, and yet I cannot concede a draw," Haldir sighed to me. "They will not let down guard again unless we give them an opportunity... be ready for an unlikely move; for when I see my chance, I may sacrifice a flag to end this game. Let us give it to Glorfindel, for he has been the most worthy opponent on the field."

And so we threw aside our pride in a complete victory and pressed into the fray of the three organized against us. By sheer frustration we finally finished detaching the last of five flags, three of which not just cut from, but collected off of Glorfindel. Only one sole red marker did we sacrifice, indicating what would have been a blow to Haldir's leg while our friendly foes had lost all of theirs to my elf's death blows.

Upon me, Haldir held high his trophies as I outran their final chase as a salute of proof to our joint abilities. Coming up to a full and sudden stop just inside the mouth of the valley near Rivendell, Haldir lifted the streaming three gold flags upon his sword and stood up steady in the stirrups.

When the three subjugated elves caught up, they were followed closely by the observers of our demonstration which included Lord Elrond, his wife and daughter and several others. At the beginning of the day there had been a significant audience, including Rumil, all eager to witness our potential. But their numbers dwindled as after the first flags were surprisingly cut no new significant ground was made and the competition grew tedious. When the sun's heat intensified more than our drama, even Haldir's brother had headed for the cool mountain; though he waved in assurance that our dominance was certain.

Haldir called out as they approached, "I feel I could slay a dragon!"

I had heard of the fire-breathing beasts and had no interests in testing the limits of invincibility. Neighing my refusal to the suggestion, I pushed up my front hooves and sat my elf back down in his seat. I heard him chuckle when he thumped into his place and he patted my covered neck with his gloved hand.

"Only in my dreams, Sullendry," he soothed, "or forbid it, if our home be thus threatened."

"Your horse is to be commended, Lord Haldir, for he has met your challenge with grit and perseverance," Lord Elrond exclaimed as he rode his horse closer to us. She was a dark brown mare, lovely and sharp who bravely dominated the stables and barely tolerated my ignorance to their docile authority enforcement. She did not seem pleased by our display at all and watched me closely with a warning in her eye.

A son of the great lord concluded similarly, "Who would have believed a wild creature could in so short a time be tamed and trained?"

"Oh, I assure you," Haldir explained, tossing the golden flags to Glorfindel and sheathing his sword, "Sullendry is not tame, nor will he ever be. I feel as if I am as much at his mercy as if I were riding a dragon instead of fighting one. It is only our mutual love that makes us so formidable."

"We have seen enough," Celebrian spoke for her party of observers. "Please do not linger until dark, my loves?"

At her gentle prodding, her husband and all but one of the champions followed the gentle lady's persuasion. I noted upon their departure an unfriendly eye among the impressed, Arwen's scrutiny was not lifted and given her history with Haldir, I presumed why.

Remaining alone with only Glorfindel and his impassive stallion, we waited to see what they would do. Haldir remained silent and I suspected he was hoping for an additional word of approval from this elder he so admired.

Holding his golden flags with concern, he questioned my fair one, "It is your love for your brother which inspires you?"

"Yes my lord, you see right through my motives!" he announced.

"If you love him, why would you use this formidability to satiate his unhealthful lust for revenge?"

After a brief hesitation, Haldir spoke with worry, "Your words bring me chill, Lord Glorfindel."

"As it should," he spoke sternly. "Revenge leads to dark thoughts and hatred that would poison your brother more than the evil he witnessed, for it would be within him and rescue from the dungeon of your own heart is not easily accomplished."

"What fear are you forming in my heart?" Haldir asked in a hush.

"The fear of your own prowess, I hope," he said and his horse stepped forward, jingling at every foot fall. "There is enough darkness in this world for ridding this land of it to become all consuming... especially for one with your ability and love of light." He dropped his golden flags and they fluttered, glimmering in the setting sun as they floated to the ground at my hooves. Then, with a smirk he lifted his eyes and said, "You should know, I let you take them."

Haldir gasped and then exclaimed, "I admit I would rather you were a false failure than a liar hiding his loss, but I cannot fathom either case without extreme perplexity!" To this Glorfindel let out a bright laugh that filled the valley behind us; his horse took a step back at the force of it but did not change it's own disposition. Continuing his protest, Haldir demanded, "Why boost my ego in front of the others? It is no more in your nature to embrace failure than it is mine to want to win under false pretense - in fact I feel a fool!"

Suddenly the gaze of the elder's crystal eyes began to glow in such brightness that I startled and stepped back in fear of being burned by the uncovered majesty. I had heard the stories of this great warrior who, having defeated a dragon and then a balrog was witness to death and resurrection. Before that moment his beauty was unquestionable, but now my heart beat at the witness of his countenance reflecting paradise and the Valar. He was still of smaller physical stance than us and yet greater by far in glory.

Haldir patted my neck as if to calm me, but his knees gripped me in mutual unease.

With warm wonder such as a voice that might both pierce a heart and south the pain he instructed, "You did legitimately take two of my flags, Lord Haldir, there is no shame in that."

In a trembling voice Haldir asked, "And you did not try to take mine?" Slowly Glorfindel shook his head.

"Will you tell me why you have done this deception?" Haldir asked, desperate. The elder merely smiled, coy and mysterious. Guessing Haldir asked, "To point out to me my arrogance in thinking it possible and demand I now confess my ignorance and humbly admit defeat to all of Rivendell?"

The emanating glow faded slightly and Glorfindel explained, "Had you not proven yourself today, Lord Elrond would not have let you go; he would have used his Lordship and Healer position to not release your brother to you."

"You know then our intention to go together?" Haldir asked. "So that Rumil may witness and feel useful again?"

"Oriel has not the ability to hide his worried brow and I tricked him into confiding in me," he said. Haldir grumbled and Glorfindel added, "He is a good friend to you, but loyal more to wisdom and the reliance on counselors more than schemes in the halls of youth."

"Why not merely tell Lord Elrond what we were doing? Why take it on yourself to scold me?"

Glorfindel laughed again and Haldir asked, "Where is the humor in this?"

With a grin, the elder responded, "Because we both chose deception, thinking we are wiser than Lord Elrond...but only one of us is."

"You, I presume?" Haldir acquiesced.

"Wiser than Lord Elrond am I by far than I am more powerful than you."

"And yet you chose not to prove that today," Haldir said. "I am humbled by your denying of yourself for my benefit."

"Humility is not denying what is true, it is understanding and accepting your place. I did not return to Middle Earth to win trials against champions or arguments against great lords... So it does not suit my purpose as a guide to stand against your sword on the field or Lord Elrond's decisions in his realm. You have proven yourself to me and I believe while you should be sober of your skills, it is your decision what to do with them, not his... "

"If you will be my guide, Glorfindel, tell me what darkness you see in my future regarding my brother's desire for revenge. I will not go if it harms him in any way."

"I know," he said warmly. "That is why I trust you to make this decision."

To this he turned, not toward the city, but into the sunset and away from the valley.

"Ever since my youth, elders have always complicated everything," Haldir quipped. I nickered my condolence.

We slowly climbed up the path to the elven city, together contemplated all that had happened and all that was before us; Haldir aloud and myself silent save a few responses to his musings.

It was in that short journey from the low of the valley in the golden light and glory of Glorfindel to the height of the mountain as darkness overtook us in Rivendell that I finally began to comprehend the concept of deception and the mistrust and doubt it bestowed. These higher elven ideas were not found in my kind. We could trick our enemies or be found caught off guard by a strategy against us, but the weaving of words to hide intentions did not settle well with me and a sentiment formed in my heart that I was loath to describe as regret for what we were about to do.

Were we doing the right thing to take Rumil with us? Could we break a promise and still hope to see him healed? Would it mean not saving my brother and the other horses from their enslaved existence?

These complex virtues of love and justice were too much for my mind and even worse for my beating, fearful heart. When Haldir left me, freed of the weight of my saddle, in the stable my promise to him felt heavier than all the metal hanging beside me. Trusting him was a fearful allegiance for I did wish to follow the right path and yet what if in this twisted circumstance in which we were found, my fair elf and I became a party to the evil which we claimed to fight.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sullendry Chapter 12**

**2498 TA**

"Long have we waited, Sullendry," Haldir said, "And we are ready... yet I have a check in my heart that leaving Rumil in Rivendell will bode badly."

My response was a disinterested snort. We had waited too long in my opinion; but I had no control over the timing of elven readiness compared to my own and in my own despondency I could not console my friend.

I am not certain how many days passed after our trial run before my fair elf concluded to both hold true to his promise to his brother and come forth honestly about it to the elven king. When a great indignant fuss was made by the Lord of Rivendell, Rumil himself declared he would trust his brother to ride alone and find another way to redemption. None of this was by my witness, of course, taking place within the halls of the elven homes; but bits and pieces of the story had come my way as it unfolded. Elves were fair and wise but when it came to following their conscience, they were an emotionally complicated, morally conflicted lot with whom I lost my patience many times.

Since these goings on I had come to my own decisions, many of which I had not the chance to share with Haldir, nor the inclination. Primarily it was this; it did not suit either of us well for me to interfere in his wrestling over right and wrong. To a horse a path was simple; find your position in the herd and do what needs to be done. Though I have been told that when not defending their way of life, elves spend most of their time creating, learning and enjoying the beauty of the world, I myself have witnessed much concern among themselves over every possible avenue of the future!

For instance, on one evening when Haldir was with his brother, Arwen entered the stable to challenge Glorfindel on his support of the quest. I had taken to a stall next to Glorfindel's stallion, for he was the least likely to engage me in horseplay and drama. While peaceful on most days, it also unfortunately gave my ear a good hearing of the politics in the elven city for many brought their concerns to the fair elder. Such had it brought Arwen's concerns for her people as well as my kind.

"Should Haldir be hurt in this engagement, we will of course rescue him and take him in for healing," she told the elder. "Yet the horses may be too tainted with darkness for our powers. Where is the wisdom to risk one elf determining the fate of many for a cause that may be lost?"

Glorfindel was keen to my understanding and unlike with other discussions, for this one he mercifully led his pupil away to give her his response. Later it became clear that he had conferred with Haldir for my fair elf had come to me to explain his plans and request approval.

My thought all along was that they should be set free to decide their own fate, but the elves were now considering that they may not be suited for returning to the wild and freeing them brought the responsibility of interference upon Haldir.

Then, as now in his concern for Rumil being left behind, I knew I had nothing to contribute of an opinion. I could not and did not want to try to guess the future.

"Very well then," Haldir grumbled, nudging me forward, "Let us see if they are as easily found as we hoped and trust my brother to his nurses."

...

Two moons passed before we spotted a single orc, and his pack was on foot. We followed stealthily but to no advantage. So it went until Haldir's rations were spent and he took to a hunt to replenish. The rabbit he caught and cooked stunk in my nostrils and I wandered away as he had his meal, nibbling on the wild carrot weed I discovered.

It was in this leisure that I felt the trembling of hooves on the ground, well before my perked ears determined the direction with sound. I returned to Haldir swiftly and he was already kicking out the flames.

"Sounds like a large herd," he said, abandoning what was left of the carcass under a branch. He leaped upon me and we were off before he could bother with his needless discussion of the matter.

The first sight we beheld was a dust cloud lit in the distance by only starlight. In front of it ran horses of my kind, desperate and weakening. Surrounding them from behind were more wargs than I had ever seen at one time and on each one rode an orc.

Haldir slid off my back and patted me to stay in the trees while he crawled to a better vantage. When a victim of such an attack, I could only assume the purpose was to enslave us or serve us as food for their charges; but here I saw only a chase. I turned from the scene and retreated into my own mind, wondering what would become of my kind and how could even the two of us stop such a horde?

The echo of their screeches chilled me; I did not expect Haldir to risk his life for what appeared a hopeless cause and when he returned, his mood was grieved.

"This is unlike orcs... too organized, too purposeful... there must be some order given by a crafty master far above their capacity to scheme. But why have them drive the horses south?" After his musing, Haldir climbed upon me and said, "While we cannot take on this war party ourselves, if my intuition is correct, we will not have to."

...

It was easy to let him lead, to not worry about what I should do or how I should feel. While I found his labor over his decisions cumbersome, the trust I had in Haldir had grown to the point of not even questioning his conclusions. We were able to slip past the stampede to a position behind the massive moving herd. It looked to me as if every band had been round up into a massive herd. It was no wonder we had not seen any orcs, it must have taken every one of their kind to accomplish this.

My elven rider did not stop us to wait behind them, but rode further north until he climbed upon the greatest hill for vantage and stretched his vision to the furthest he could see.

"As I suspected," he said. "Look, my friend. Yonder come the Eorlingas! This is why the orcs are so furiously intent on the southern direction. They fear these men, and well they should. We cannot wait for them to catch up, they are too far behind. But we can slow down the..."

I knew what he wanted and could not wait for the explanation; I took off running and felt him surprised and struggling to grasp hold at my speed. He did so quickly and we two as one ran to cut off the party. It was dangerous, we both had seen wargs and orcs do their worst. I was not afraid until I saw they were coming up to a great river. I ran faster than I thought I could to intercept.

The main course of the river was on our left, the herd ran on our right and before us a bend in the water turned in front of us; It would swallow all of the horses if they did not slow their pace or turn from it. The only way to turn was away from where we were and into the orcs who were striking down any that came too close. I had to cut across so that Haldir could strike down the orcs and wargs. My hope was that Haldir saw this strategy as well and when he did not direct me otherwise, I assumed he was ready and I darted in front of the mass of stallions and mares, easily keeping their pace for I was more fresh and purposeful than they in their terrorized exhaustion.

We were spotted and the arrows that were shot whizzed by us and bounced off the armor on my back. I carried him, pressing to the right, through the dangerous mass of bodies, some larger than I and all suspicious of any creature upon one of their own. The drumming hooves and panting breath pounded in my ears. Some took nips, others bumped me dangerously close to stumbling, but at last we came to the edge where the wargs snarled and nipped and the enemy on their backs slashed with swords.

Haldir slew four of them effortlessly and we caught up and cast down three more, clearing a way for the herd to turn just in time to miss the river. a welcome relief now that I knew they ran to safety. I slowed at Haldir's insistence to give him access to more of the enemy, but when I saw there were more coming toward us than I thought we could fight, my instinct was to outrun them and I began to ignore his pulling on my reins. He was brave but not foolish enough to argue with my opposition. Instead he worked within my caution, directing me to lead their chase away from the herd. Our mutually agreed upon plan worked brilliantly and we found ourselves leading what seemed now to be a herd of wargs and riders, while the horses were turning and moving north, almost as if they knew aid was in such a direction.

As for our situation, I was not yet growing tired from the full force run for the sound of the snarling on every side drove me with fear as much as the exhilaration of freeing my family breed. The orcs who rode the evil creatures called out jeers in a language I did not need to understand to receive the gist of their meaning. We had spoiled their plans and our deaths had become their new motivation.

Haldir's direction to turn back toward the river made no sense to me at first, but I obeyed, knowing that from his position he saw much that I could not. As I closed the distance, drawing closer to the bank I could not yet determine his intention. He nudged me faster with shouts and determination.

Though doubtful, I heard the confidence in his voice and plunged ahead, slowly realizing he did not mean for us to turn before we came upon the water! I had entered rivers before, but never at such a speed and not with the danger of wargs on my tail! I could break a leg hitting the water and if I did not, once within I would be slow, vulnerable and if it was deep I did not know if I could swim with this weight upon me; not enough to keep Haldir free to wield his weapon.

And yet this time, obeyed, I rode on; trusting and hoping. Nearer and nearer we came to the dark ravine ahead; I did not let up my speed and the wargs did not catch us, but did not fall behind either. Then, suddenly I felt it, an inclination to ready for a stop... just to the edge- I understood now. Fear would drive wild horses into a gorge or a river, but one ridden by an elf could hold his ground with the weapons of his charge protecting him!

I stopped so suddenly I feared despite the strapping and Haldir's expectation he might still fly off into the water, but he held firm and slashed his sword at the wargs leaping at us. The dark beasts were unable to get their own footing and one after the other plunged over the steep bank, breaking the backs of the others they landed upon. The orcs were slashed to pieces by the claws of their scrambling mounts. On my back, my elf had his bow and sank arrow after arrow into the hearts and heads of the easy prey drowning in the deep below us. They had succumbed to their own traps! I wished in that moment that orcs had the ability to understand irony for their deaths seemed a pity to waste only amusing my elf and I.

When Haldir had finished the gurgling, bloody slaughter, we turned to see there were more wargs on the field, though only a few for the bravest had charged us while their fearful brethren fled.

I stepped forward, anxious to chase after the herd to ensure their safety; Haldir agreed with his heels and I galloped at a less hasty speed, enjoying the sight of our enemies peeling off into the shadows. Let them return to their caves and tell the tale! Their dark Lord who led them would surely understand what had happened here was of poetic justice! Though he might not call it that.

When at last we came to see the great mass of horses galloping north we saw also on the fields hundreds of others spotting the ground, dead. A lone warg, free of a rider, fed on a red stained white coat and I did not wait to be told to hunt him down.

He fled before we arrived and upon seeing it was not my white father who lay there I stomped at the relief and yet my heart was still sick at the sight.

"I can see the Eorlingas now, enveloping the herd into their protection," Haldir said. I looked to see the silver helmets gleaming in the rising moonlight. They did not surround them by their ranks, but allowed the herd to run through them and beyond while the men stood as if on guard of the passage to them; daring any of the remaining orcs to take chase. I was grateful, but gazed back around at the dead, wondering at the loss of lives and experiences never to be passed down.

"I saw no horses being ridden tonight, Sullendry," Haldir said. "I do not know what that means for our quest; but there are black horses among those dead here and some who were running so they were not hunting them for capture... perhaps men have the answer to this mystery."

I obeyed his nudging, though I wanted only to mourn. He was right, if there was knowledge to be gained we should seek it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors Note:I am incorporating some history of the Rohan in here, as can be read: in the Tolkien Gateway articles for Eorl and Felar.**

**You may notice that Shadowfax is said to have come from these horses, and yet I have written Shadowfax into my story as alive well before that. It can either be that it is a horse with the same name, or that the Rohan were mistaken and did not realize Shadowfax was sneaking into their herds to ride with them. It doesn't matter to me which one you choose. :)**

**In short, this chapter gives an explanation as to how Eorl was able to tame a Meara,, Felaróf, first of the_Mearas_****of Rohan.**

**Sullendry Chapter 13**

As we approached the men on their horses, Haldir's words made no sense in my mind, but I could tell he was greeting the men with gratitude and humility.

"I seek the Lord of the Eorlingas, to pay him my respect for their cooperation this evening!"

They made way for us with honor and eyes wide. I held my head high as I trotted through the ranks of their smaller horses, enjoying their nervous shifts of hooves at my presence. A man clad in green and golden armor came forward, and as if out of breath, he spoke to us.

Without any kindness in his voice the man made an accusation which I could only guess had to do with myself in some way.

"My eyes must deceive me, for here is an elf who has forced himself upon the great breed brought to this world from Béma! What treachery have you inflicted to dare take your place where only he has the right?!"

Haldir's response was to dismount and upon his face I saw concern. He stood by my side and placed his hand over his heart. He bowed to the man and spoke their language; words that to me sounded as some humble concession.

"I would not dare, great Lord of men, to presume to take the place of Béma for I too have respect for this race which humbles we elves and to us he is the vala Orome. I am but a mere shadow emulating his greatness."

"Then explain yourself, how have you come to ride this stallion?"

"It is because of my great respect that I did not deny my friend when he prodded and demanded to bear me." He turned to me and gestured with a glimmer of affection. "This, my companion and counterpart on the field; is Sullendry."

At hearing my name I knew I had been introduced and to me in the elvish I knew, Haldir said, "I can only suppose this is the king of the Eorlingas,he has yet to provide me his name... but I am sure he will eventually if we are polite enough, so please try to be forgiving of their manners if you want information."

I looked at the king and and nickered, giving him a small nod. I saw surprise in his eyes and he looked to Haldir and then back at me.

A response came of a higher pitch from a boy on a horse beside the man Lord; it was not in anger, more surprise. "How can that be true? Surely this elf king is lying, father!"

My elf dropped his hands and folded his fingers. I could feel in his demeanor the expected insult had been spoken.

"I am no king," Haldir spoke. "I am Lord Haldir, Emissary of the Galadhrim. Friend to Lord Erond of Rivendell and once in years past was I also acquainted with Feon, Lord of the Eotheod. I have only come to inquire upon the chase and slaughter I saw tonight... can you shed light upon this mystery to what the orcs may be doing and who has sent them?"

"I know nothing of the Galadhrim, but I have heard of an elf Haldir who fought to protect the life of a great horse... that was you?" The man trailed off in his speaking and when my elf friend nodded and bowed, the king continued more boldly.

"My name is Léod, current Lord of the Eotheod and we have been protecting the Mearas since we have learned of their most superior breed. They do not stand to be ridden unless there is great torture and trauma involved; it is outlawed in my kingdom on pain of death to use any instruments if a taming is to be tried. We have freed some of them from their evil master orcs, but not all. The orcs have thus hidden them from us and do not ride the black ones in these fields any longer..." The man paused as if he had spoken something dire and then blinked to attention and his tone went even darker as he continued. "Orcs are selfish creatures who waste their own kind without thought, and while they kill for sport as well as for food, never have I seen it done on such a scale. It is also a mystery to us why they have increased their attacks in this land. They make passage through it nearly impossible for anyone but a war party."

Not able to understand the conversation, I was growing bored and my thirst was becoming cumbersome. I knew it must be important from the gravity of the voices, so I waited, hoping Haldir would finish soon... I was not certain I wanted to even know what was being said.

"What has happened to those you have freed?" Haldir inquired.

"Only a sad story of confusion, mistrust and... those that did not go mad returned to their masters."

Haldir looked at me after the man had spoken and said, "I am sorry my friend, the men have freed some horses from the orcs but they did not wish to leave their dark lords... too much must have been done to them. Lady Arwen was right."

Looking at my fair elf I could see this news came as much more of a burden to him than it did to me. I stepped forward, nuzzled his cheek and nickered, feeling the comfort of his hand on my jaw as he returned the affection.

Haldir then spoke softly in their language, "Sullendry had family stolen from his band." He turned to them and continued, "Thank you for the information, and for your protection of my friend's breed. I will pass the word to my people that this way is no longer safe."

The man lord nodded and said, "Your horse obviously loves you, Lord Haldir. I am inspired. I did not think these creatures capable of such loyalty to any but their own."

"They are as noble as they are wise and mighty. Any who gain their trust will have a friend for life," he said. "It is my hope that some day your attention to their protection will be rewarded by that trust."

"Before this day I did not dare to hope for it!" the king said and then looked up and over his gathered crowd. "We should gather our strength for tomorrow will come soon enough. You may stay in our camp if you would like to rest yourselves. What we have is yours, you need only ask."

Once the king was away to where tents had been set up and fires were burning, Haldir asked me, "Would you like to stay and rest or go home?"

Looking around to the nearby areas I saw nothing to quench my parched throat. A single hoof to the dirt gave him my answer.

"Me too, my friend," he said and patted me. He was about to climb upon me when we were approached on foot by the young boy who had been with the king and he engaged my elf in a short dialogue.

"Lord Haldir, why are you not staying?" he asked.

"My horse wants to go," he said. "Who am I addressing?"

"My name is Eorl," he said. "And how do you know Sullendry wishes to leave?"

Hearing my name, my ears perked up and I became curious for the boys inquiries.

"He told me," Haldir answered and then qualified, "Well, I asked him and he agreed."

"Do you mean he understands you?" the boy asked. "Is he smart enough to understand me as well?"

"How old are you?" Haldir asked him.

"I am thirteen," he said. "How does that matter?"

"How old were you when you learned to speak?"

The boy looked chaffed and snipped, "Two or three is usual for first words... why, does your horse speak as well?"

Haldir chuckled and said, "No... how long do you think it would take you to learn the elven language?"

"If someone taught me, not very long," he said. "That is if I had interest, which I do not... we rarely see elves and when we do they make us feel like children!"

"Sullendry and his kind are as smart as you or I. He cannot understand you because he has not been taught your language. But I am guessing that any horse as smart as he is would learn a language if someone took the time to talk to it, and if it had the inclination to want to learn... which means you must not treat him like he is below you. That is how we two became friends. Communication keeps the peace, Eorl. It is why I study all of the languages of men."

"You said as smart as you and I, do you mean to say elves believe men are intellectually equal to elves?" he asked.

"In my experience, the biggest difference is that we think about different matters and elves live longer lives so we have more experience... elves can be foolish; I have been foolish many more times than you I am certain since I have lived many more years in which to be foolish!"

Whatever it was that Haldir was saying, he was winning over the boy to a large grin.

"Do you speak Sullendry's language?" the boy asked. Hearing my name I gazed at Haldir for a translation.

Haldir turned to me and instead of speaking elvish, he made a sound as if he was imitating first a nicker and then a whinny. He gave me a strange, curious look and lifted his brows.

I snorted at his foolishness and bumped his chest with my nose.

The boy laughed and Haldir chuckled and answered, "Apparently not."

"Not well anyway, Lord Haldir... who knows what you may have said!"

Haldir pointed at him and said, "Good point! I once mispronounced a compliment in Dwarvish that had me swatting away the dredges of their stew bowls!" The boy chuckled and Haldir added, "I smelled of rancid deer meat for the rest of the counsel... did you know dwarves do not have any bathing facility in their homes?"

"How I wish you could stay!" the boy laughed. "You have so much to share!" He approached me carefully, looking at me with longing. "Why does he not want to stay?"

In elvish Haldir said to me, "He wants us to stay... unlike you, he appreciates my humor." I shook my head, my mouth parched for water and irritable at his endless chatting. Haldir turned to the boy and said, "I am sorry."

The boy spoke my name and with a voice most tender and youthful asked me, "Is there any way I could convince you otherwise? Ask me for anything, I am a prince, I will make certain you have it."

Haldir translated, "He offers you anything to change your mind, and he has the means to do it. It is quite an offer if you can find a way to communicate your heart's desire, now would be the moment."

Gazing around I saw what looked like a man drinking from a small flask. I turned and walked away from Haldir and the boy; they followed. When I reached the man he looked up at me with large blue eyes, water dripping from his blonde beard. I bumped my nose at the flask in his hand and looked at Haldir.

"Are you thirsty?" Haldir asked in elvish. I stomped and gazed around more, looking at the men and their bewildered expression.

"He is thirsty," Haldir announced to the boy.

"Get a pot!" the boy called out. "And fill it for Sullendry! Do not spare any drop."

Instantly there was a rumble among the men and activity I could not distinguish. I was soon presented with a smallish metal pot and watched as the men came and willingly poured their precious flasks into it. Haldir stood beside me, hand over his mouth, his brows in heavy emotion. Overwhelmed by the generosity I could only stare at the gift.

In a soft whisper, Haldir prodded, "Drink, my friend... for I have not seen such honor of an animal as these Eorlingas love your kind."

I did as I was bid and it was the sweetest drink I had ever taken, not only for the taste, but from the hearts that bestowed it.

"Will we stay now?" Haldir asked. "If only for a little while?"

I stomped and nodded and Haldir turned to the boy. "He is happy to stay."

The boy sighed with great relief and his smile was bright enough to light up the evening sky and bring great cheer to all of the men in company.

"Come," Haldir said. "Let us sit by the fire and I will explain to you how to teach a horse your language."


	14. Chapter 14

**Sullendry 14**

We did not return directly home for when we passed by the river and saw the toxic state in which we had left it, my elf complained to me that the dead orcs and wargs that had not already floated away would poison the water if left to rot. He removed his armor and took to swimming and retrieving their carcasses; a nasty, disgusting affair I felt sick watching him perform. When little over half complete, I reluctantly offered Haldir my help and using rope he tied to my harness I was able to more easily pull many up onto the bank for burning. It both saved him time and effort and gave me a sense of accomplishment. There was dignity in knowing I could contribute to not just my own kind's welfare and that of my elf, but to Middle Earth and others in it whom I may never see. Since that incident I came to offer myself more readily to Haldir's selfless acts of responsibility; often before or without needing his explanation for why he was doing it.

Once back in Rivendell it did not take long for our journey preparations to commence and we were bound for Lothlorien with our small party of Galadhrim elves anxious to return to their home, a two week journey south and around the mountains. All were anxious to move swiftly through the fields and forests, save Rumil, whose pace I noticed slowed the company on many occasions. I could sense Haldir's anxiety on the matter though he made no verbal mention save to speak with Oriel of his wife and her probable anticipation for her husband's return.

So many interests he juggled, serving me, his brother, his friends and I knew also his desire to fulfill his position to his Lord and Lady. It strengthened my resolve to serve him, for more relied on my fair elf than seemed to attend to any needs he had; if they even noticed them.

When we did finally arrive the welcome was quiet yet intense. Haldir had made it clear in pigeon messages that Rumil would need his space to acclimate to the city again so only his brother Orophin, and a few family members of our traveling companions had met us. I and the other horses were led away to temporary settlements, as I had been warned would happen, and now Haldir had returned as promised to see I was nestled appropriately into my new home.

Immediately I noticed something was amiss with my elf; though he did not mention it.

"On learning of you, my Lady Galadriel has insisted you take your place in the finest stable," Haldir said, eying me as I turned about in my stall.

Compared to those in Rivendell, this was three horses wide with high privacy walls one each side. Along the back wall water flowed fresh into the joint trough from the river and in addition to sweet hay to be brought daily as needed, Haldir explained the adjacent fields were populated with delicious sprouts and I was free to consume anywhere in the city at my leisure so long as I stayed clear of the gardens.

I nickered my acceptance and then gazed at the other horses, wondering who they were and if there might be dominance drama. One a similar color of cream to myself was being brushed by a fair lady who pretended not to be paying attention to us. I noted she kept her ear turned our direction and stole glances from time to time as we conversed. I snorted at her intrusion and she looked away, meandering into her horse's stall. The mare paid me no mind.

Glancing that direction, Haldir then turned back to me and asked, "Is there a problem?"

I neighed, nodding to the stable hand hoping for an introduction. To my surprise, Haldir sighed heavily and with a grumble.

"Most elves do not have their own homes, Sullendry, it is not..." Haldir stopped himself and then stepped closer and spoke quietly. "...it is not standard to indulge a horse who has only just arrived at the expense of those who already live here. Yes, you are special and intelligent, but not even our Lady's horse has her own stable! Can you not concede to share at least until I can find the time to build you one more suitable to you?"

Blinking at his tone I snorted and pushed my way by him to exit. As expected, he followed. I kept a slow enough pace that allowed him to know I wanted his attention but that he would have to work for it now. When I reached a place of privacy in the middle of the field, I slowed down and began to graze.

"I apologize," he said. "But you are being very arrogant to think you deserve more than I can afford... The Eorlingas are right in saying your breed are worthy of kings - but I am not a king, I am a servant." I stared at him, stunned at his words. "If you are unhappy, I release you." I stomped at the notion and snorted. Haldir closed his eyes, put his hand to his forehead and after taking a few moments, he said, "I will go speak to the stable master and..."

Stepping forward I hustled to stand in his way from leaving.

"What?" he asked angrily, stopping suddenly. I stared at him. Haldir gathered his patience and then asked less sternly, but still rigid, "What is it?"

I gently bumped his chest with my nose and then snorted.

"I do not understand, Sullendry," he explained with raised brows. I glanced away, frustrated and he tried to leave once more, but I accosted him; I would be heard.

Sighing, Haldir placed his hands on his hips and stared at the ground, biting his lower lip. Again he took in a long breath and let it out, saying, "I am not up to guessing today, my friend. I promise," he said, meeting my gaze. "I am doing the best I can. You are of great concern to me, but you can not be my highest priority. Please understand this..." The sadness in his eyes made my heart ache. It was as if he thought he had let me down when nothing could be farther from the truth; in fact it was the exact opposite.

I stepped forward and he moved slightly away, but then I leaned toward him and he allowed me to lay my cheek beside his. After a few moments, Haldir finally lifted his hand and stroked me. It was the first time in a month he had expressed any affection or tenderness and I only then realized how much I had missed it.

"Thank you for your patience," he whispered. He stepped away, pulling his hand slowly from me and he tried to leave again, saying, "I will do all I can, I promise."

I nickered and trotted in front of him once more, this time coming at him in steps until he backed up. He lifted his palms to me in confusion and shook his head. Then his eyes drifted away from me and his face calmed and to my witness, even glowed a margin.

I turned to see where his gaze was drawn and saw a lady in white moving toward us so gently it was as if she were floating through the grass instead of walking upon it. The afternoon sun glittered on her gown like water droplets, her mane longer than any I had ever seen on an elf and her cheeks were rosy as apples. When she reached us it appeared as if all tension was gone from Haldir and he smiled at her attention displaying the same peace I often felt in his presence.

"Lady Galadriel, this is Sullendry. Sullendry, Our Lady of the Golden Wood."

She did not turn her eyes upon me, but kept them on Haldir and when she tilted her head and blinked he bowed his head.

"Your strength is your weakness, Haldir. I know the burden you bear and it does not do you well to carry it alone."

He nodded and said, "I appreciate the relief now that I am in your company."

"I am not speaking of myself," she said. He followed her attention when she turned it to me. In a language I had not been taught, but which I remembered from my ancestors in my dreams, she spoke to me. "Greetings son of Nahar, you are most welcome in our home. Your service to Haldir is not in vain, I will help open his eyes."

I nodded to her and nickered, enjoying a light touch from her pale fingers as I sniffed her sweet hand. She smiled and I felt as if for a moment I had returned to my dream land.

"Tell me, Lord Haldir," she said in Sindarin, "If what you fear and what you believe are one and the same, for I can not read your heart, it is so closed."

The trembling breath he took in shook my confidence; I had never seen my elf so vulnerable, he seemed suddenly a child in my eyes.

"Glorfindel was right," he said with a twitch on his lips. He choked slightly as he managed, "I have lost him... Rumil is gone... he was my rock..."

Without offering any sympathy the beautiful lady inquired, "Which is it; a fear or a belief?"

"Both," he said and clenched his jaw.

Her blue eyes fell to the ground as if disappointed and she spoke, "Follow me."

Haldir darted his eyes at me as he began to do as she asked, but I allowed him to go and obeyed her request as if it was for me as well.

A long ways we walked, through the forest and into a tightly growing grove of young trees. They were tall and though they were thin in their trunks, their branches intertwined and brushed one another. My fair elf lifted his chin and his mouth dropped open at the sight.

"You know where we are?" she asked him.

Haldir lifted a hand and touched one of the trees, his eyes still fixed far above. "These are the seeds I planted!" His brows pressed together as he exclaimed, "How they have grown!"

"Do you see anything odd about the way they have grown?" she asked. "Anything unnatural?"

He walked around slowly, examining them very carefully; up and down, scrutinizing them as if he had built them himself. Comparing them to the other trees he looked back and forth until finally his shoulders dropped and he approached his lady again.

"They are too close together... they will not survive well."

"And yet it is too late to dig them up and move them," she said. He seemed defeated by it and she encouraged, "They will make fine bows, we can cut them down together when they are ready and you may start again."

"I am sorry, my lady..."

"Only be sorry if you have learned nothing," she said.

"I will plant fewer seeds and spread them out further next time, I understand," he said.

"You understand the trees, but do you understand yourself?" she asked. "Why did you make this mistake? I gave you very clear instructions." Again his face fell, as a child scolded. Galadriel reached out her hand and took his, the touch restored his confidence and she asked, "Think... why did you plant so many seeds?"

He shook his head at first and the paused in thought before answering, "Because I was young and foolish?"

She laughed lightly and said, "Young yes, but you are not foolish. You have never been foolish." Haldir did not seem to believe her and bashfully shifted his glance away. "Following your heart is not foolish, especially with a heart as full of love and light as yours." I neighed my agreement and Haldir let go a chuckle and wiped his eye. "And yet sometimes," she continued, "Fear finds its way into your faith... and you fail to believe in the future."

As if waking, Haldir stood up straight and said, "I planted so many because I could not believe they would all grow! And look at them!" She let go of him and he stepped into the middle of them again. "They are giants! And I did nothing but clear the ground, prepare the soil, plant them and watch them until they were saplings!"

"Do you know why I told you to do it?" she asked. He shook his head, stepping forward curious. "Because you try too hard. You are a good teacher, but not a very good mentor. Your brother Rumil needs a mentor now. Give him his space, believe in him... do not expect too much too soon."

Haldir let out a long breath with a grin and nodded. "Thank you m'lady," he said.

Glancing at me she offered, "And apologize to your friend for not treating him with confidence. He is able to bear more than your weight... your cares are nothing to him." She moved toward my fair elf, his light glowing less than hers, as she touched his cheek and added, "He only seeks your love, not a stable."

He nodded and she walked away and left us. It was an awkward moment that time alone together after her lessons, but Haldir lifted his brows and pressed his lips together. I stomped and he showed his teeth before saying, "I was not very nice and I assume the worst. Please forgive me?"

I nickered my acceptance and turned to go. When he did not immediately follow, I hesitated and looked back at him. The sun was shining around his white hair making it glow and his expression was skeptical. I waited for him to recognize his lady was right, patient for his slow learning and at last he stepped forward and walked with me back to the stable.


	15. Chapter 15

Sullendry Chapter 15

The days in Lothlorien were easier than I dreamed possible; to an extent I might even have called them boring if it were not for my companion. Haldir was by the stable more than any others who held horses; for even the stable keepers would switch duties and skip a week or two at a time. My friend did not always bring me treats of fresh carrots or apples and as the years passed our riding excursions lessened, but he continued with a consistent nearly daily narrative of every meaningful lesson he learned. Though he often inquired on my reaction it seemed to me that my role in our relationship was more to listen to his verbal musings and provide friendly affirmation. In fact he often confessed that it was my loyal friendship which enabled him to carry on with strength despite the change in his home life situation.

"I have always worked out my understanding through words spoken," he confessed. "I learned early on that neither of my parents cared much to hear me ramble. 'Once a lesson is taught, commit it to memory and move on!' my father would chastise. Yet I am never confident I will remember or even that I understand, unless I am able to explain it to someone. Almost the day my dear brother Rumil was born I began speaking to him of everything that would come to my mind. As we grew he moved from being an ever eager ear to nudging me with gentle questions and then to teasing my faults... Though he grew wiser than me in many ways, he always welcomed me as his teacher... now he barely tolerates me and only that because he is so dependent."

It was always upon such reflections that he requested a ride, and not often with a saddle. The further we might travel through the wood, the faster we might ride, the calmer he would become until his full confidence was restored. Had I the ability I do not think I could have found words to do as well for his soul as what did come to me naturally. For that reason alone I have not longed for speech. Though I do long to share all I have learned, since that first dream of Nahar's I knew that someday all my memories that my dear elf friend had taught me would be passed down to an heir of my legacy.

More importantly to me and greater than any other wisdom I have learned are all these thoughts on and feelings for my elf friend. If I could possibly convince my young and their descendents as well, to do as Nahar had convinced me and open your heart to a friendship offered, anything else I would pass on would seem trivial to me. For nothing to be found in the ancient wisdom of elven parables or the curiosities held in their annals, or the beauty in their poetry and art can compare to the rewards of friendship found in mutually beneficial service.

It is on that hope that I have organized my memories; to focus my intention to recall most clearly the significant happenings in my life surrounding my friendship with Haldir all to that purpose. Therefore though many battles were fought, foreign villages visited and elf culture fully explored, I have very little to consider in the long years of our growing bond until the time in which I realized a great conflicting truth; that while my company would continue to suffice to steady Haldir's heart, the companionship of a horse is not sufficient for the flourishing of an elf into the ranks of elder among his own kind.

As much of a blessing as I have found in my elf, if I truly loved him and was devoted to him in life as well as to die for, I realized I must not keep him committed to myself alone, but share him with his own kind where he might delve deeper into his own nature and the needs to be explored therein.

It was the Lady whose horse shared my stable who informed me of this truth, though I did not understand it until well after the time of her lesson.

She came not often to the stables but always with kind words for me before she met with her own horses; which changed over the centuries as they aged and passed on. Upon one day, after she bid farewell to a particularly favorite charge of hers, she took notice of my interest in her husband. He rarely came to the stables, though he did maintain a horse for riding together with her, but on this day he accompanied very closely by her side to offer comfort for her loss.

I watched them and listened to their quiet conversation. There were very few words spoken, but much affection was exchanged. I had until that time only seen ladies and elves speaking cordially to one another and any elves, even in friendship would exchange with limited familiarity. Since anyone who spoke with Haldir was always given a direct, formal answer, I began to assume it was standard and proper. Those elves who acted otherwise were, in the mind of my elf, silly, shallow and foolish, and I agreed. In comparison to the communication between myself and my elf, which in my view was the epitome of connection, there was no better intimacy. Until this day when I was meant to witness more.

As they were leaving, the lady of light stopped in front of my stall and seeming to notice my interest in her husband, posed a question.

"My Lord, Celeborn, why did you want to marry me?" He stared at her, clearly devastated at her inquiry and she fixed her eyes upon him in comfort, adding, "I do not ask because I doubt, only because your voice aids in comfort."

He lifted a hand within her hair and moved the golden lock behind her shoulder where he placed his palm gently and then in earnest met her gaze. "So that I might be given the honor of the friend you choose to aid in your comfort."

Galadriel blinked in surprise at his answer and then smiled and looked down.

"Did you expect a confession of my heart's captivity to your beautiful face," he continued, "Or how dazzled I was by the power in your form..." He stepped forward, his hand running down her back as he spoke. "...or perhaps you desired that I acknowledge what I knew I was to gain by being paired with a lady of astounding wisdom?"

The light that shone from the lady had always been apparent to my eyes, but now as her husband spoke to her I witnessed a different manner of glowing and the greatness of her stature and age conformed before me into an image only describable in my understanding as youthful bliss.

Before she could answer, he kissed her lips quickly and she fixed her attention on his visage once more.

"I married you," he continued, "Because I need to love you more than any distance would allow... distance of our minds... it is a cruel, empty place which leaves me in want of your thoughts and worse, the knowledge that you are unable to fully understand my great admiration which endeavors my undying devotion to your majesty and increase..."

Again the lady looked down, but her husband continued. "...the distance of our hearts, my lady..." She looked up to listen. "... such travesty would leave me in want of your affection and you unable to embrace the sincerity of my adoration... an adoration which had already bonded me to you before you even made a decision to grant me your attention..." Galadriel chuckled at that and he smiled and continued.

"... and the distance of our spirits..." his voice softened in volume, almost in fear of his next utterance, "I fear it the most. For any separation in the unseen world leaves me in want of your very essence... and you... unable to receive my souls nurturing which is a slave to inspire your eternal flourishing!"

I believed at that point that Galadriel had forgotten my presence altogether. She had started this inquiry in an obvious attempt to teach me and now was lost in her own moment.

"And let me not forget the agony which devastates my existence at the distance of our bodies... where I am then unable to..." her husband pressed his hand against her back and pulled her against him, whispering words into her ear that made the lady gasp a quick breath.

I then watched him give her what Haldir must have meant when he explained to me what 'kissing' was. I knew it was pleasurable and something that Haldir held in great esteem as a benefit to intimacy with a lady, but until the moment I witnessed Galadriel, Lady of Lorien; queen of elves, feared by all lands, become weak in her knees and struggle to stand as her Celeborn pressed his lips to her neck, I did not really understand.

"Not here," she gasped, and grasped his robes with her hands, pushing him from her.

"Are you afraid of a witness? There is none here but horses," he teased.

In shallow breaths she pulled away and looked at me. When Celeborn's lit eyes raised to meet mine I lifted my head and gave a whinny in amusement. It took him a moment but then he looked at his lady and said, "You set me up?"

"Not exactly," she said and backed away carefully.

"You did!" he scolded with a point at her.

"Maybe a little!" she laughed and lifted her white lace to run away out of the stable in noble giggling.

Her bonded chased after her in a similar fit of merry laughter and I stepped out of the stables far enough to watch them run off into the distance. It was clear to me and apparently also to her husband that, Galadriel had intended for me to witness his doting of affection. I thought at some time in the future she would speak to me and explain why; Haldir was always so direct in his lessons, but she did not. The next time she entered the stables she only smiled knowingly at me and greeted me as always.

And then once, when Haldir was present, the connections became more apparent.

"M'lady," he said, bowing slightly, hesitating the brushing I was enjoying.

"Lord Haldir," she said with a nod. She was wearing her riding gear and I understood from the other stable attendants that she was coming for her horse and a morning jaunt. Yet she stopped, stood in front of my stall, folded her arms and watched my elf.

He hesitated and asked, "Yes?"

"You love that horse," she said. He looked at the brush in his hands and before he could answer, she said, "He will never die so long as you live... he will always be dependent on you and you on him."

"I knew that when I agreed to our companionship," he said. "It is not a burden, he is as much a friend to me as any elf could be... as close as a brother. When we ride he is even as close to me as if we were bonded."

"No," she said stiffly. "He is not." She left the scold hanging in the air and walked off to her own horse.

Haldir seemed embarrassed at her comment and I snorted at them, slightly bruised myself.

"M'Lady?" he called and followed her. I stepped out to watch the exchange. "I know that he is not the same as an elf, or a mate...I did not mean to imply..."

"You meant it, Haldir," she said and turned to him. "There is no shame in honesty, but do not mistake it for the truth."

He shook his head in confusion and then asked in a strangely challenging tone, "Does my lack of understanding in this area make me unable to serve you as well?"

The lady tilted her head and stared him down until my fair friend looked ashamed of his question.

"Do not ever doubt it, Haldir. You serve me well," she answered. "I wonder, though, if I serve you well enough." Before he could protest she turned to her horse and scratched his ears. "Just as you take care of Sullendry, as queen it is my duty to make certain those who serve me have enriched lives... and it was my hope that when you rose to become my March Warden that your proprietary regard would relax into some comfort with your position..." She turned to him again stated, "But instead, you use your position as an excuse to avoid friendship."

"My lady, it is true that I have used my rank as a way to refuse invitations, but it is only an excuse and has little to do with my position. In earnest, it is my brother... Rumil needs my every intervention for any who did not know him before are offended by his lack of manners and cold disposition and any who did know him are too grieved by the change to be in his presence. We have tried to enter into the lives of others, but in truth, he can barely tolerate my presence, for I offend him nearly every day."

She was not having any of his excuse making, and I was glad for it.

"That may be true for having guests in your home or declining invitations for your house to join another, but do not be false with me about your personal attempts at entering into our society, for I do not see you at large social gatherings or any celebration which does not require your professional attendance."

"It feels odd to leave him at home alone," he admitted. "I am his only company, save Orophin, who is rarely around when I am not there."

I knew from his revelations to me that Haldir was not being completely honest. He avoided such places for the cold stares of the ladies who he said knew of his early life floundering and the attempts of elves to win his favor for prized positions in the schedules. And I saw the knowledge of his falseness also awake in Galadriel's eyes. I stepped out of my stall and he glanced over his shoulder at me in slight concern as I approached. When he turned back to his lady, she asked him,

"Do you not spend every free moment you are not on duty or with your brothers, here in this stable?"

"Riding is how I relax," he said.

"Is nobody else worthy of your trust?" she asked.

"You are," he tried. To that, the lady turned and climbed upon her horse. "I did not mean to presume we should become friends, my lady."

"We _are _friends, Haldir," Galadriel said impatiently. "Only you cannot see it because, save for that horse, you see everyone only in relation to your duty to them... I am not offended, but Celeborn..." she took in a slight breath and I saw her love for her husband upon her features. "...he would be hurt if he knew you turned down his invitation today so that you can come here and brush your horse. He already out shines the moon." She clicked and her mare trotted out in a point of exclamation to her statement.

"Invitation?" he asked aloud and she gave him a scolding glance before she exited the stables and then rode off. He looked at me and then his face shifted. "Celeborn did speak to me of going on a hunt and looking for any of my guard off duty today..." Haldir took in a breath and walked past me back to my stall. I followed and watched him put away the brush as he explained, "I made three suggestions of elves I knew to be good shots and in need of guidance in his stealth training. But he turned them all down for reasons which seemed trivial to me. It did not even enter my mind that he wanted me to suggest myself. Why not just ask?" With his hands on his hips he said, "Because then it would be an order and I would be going as an obligation... She is right. I do see everyone in regard to position. But it makes everything so much more simple!"

I gave him no response, for at that time I only thought of my own need for his company.

"And I know what will happen if I try to drop the expectations," he said, pointing to me and going for the pitch fork to fill my hay trough. "I will bring my assessment game to every interaction, unable to have a simple conversation without wondering and fixing upon the angle of everyone's intention." He tossed forkfuls of sweet hay into my stall, as usual, doing the work of the stable hands as he spoke. "I am always right too, which makes the interactions very tiresome. My mentor taught me all the signs, every voice inflection, every discernment technique; my guard is always up. Galadriel is right on that too..."

"She is right on just about everything," Celeborn said from the door. I had seen him come in, but waited to see what he would do. When Haldir saw him, he looked at the fork in his hands and his mouth opened. "It does not make talking to her any less interesting just because she can guess our thoughts most of the time, does it?"

"No, m'lord," Haldir said

"Friendship to others below your station is for their benefit, not yours. You understand that with Rumil and Orophin well enough. And you once had a mutual friendship with Rumil, correct?" Haldir nodded. Celeborn opened his arms and said, "I offer myself at your disposal for mutuality. If I did not make it clear before, I hope you can see it now that I have spoken clearly. Which means you may refuse any invitation or suggestion unless I specifically order you... and please, speak your mind. Do not hold back on decorum, I quite enjoy a good banter. "

"Thank you, m'lord," Haldir said. "I will go hunting with you, if you still need someone. I apologize for my inconsiderate response."

"I never _needed_ anyone, Haldir," Celeborn said and leaned against the wall. "And she was wrong about me being hurt over your neglect..." Haldir seemed relieved until he added, "She often mistakes her pain for mine... sort of, projects a bit. It is common with those bonded."

"Oh," Haldir said and walked to where the pitch fork was normally stored. He put it back, obviously moved.

"Can you imagine what that would be like?" Celeborn asked. "To have a lady care so much about how you feel that she is hurt by the mere possibility that you could be hurt?"

"No," Haldir said. "I cannot." He turned and said, "And if I might take advantage of our new arrangement and say it: you are not very kind to remind me that I will never have that."

"That is not your fate, unless you continue to act as if it is," he said. Celeborn looked at me and asked, "Would you like to see your elf happy in the bliss of a bonded relationship... like that which I have with my lady?"

Without hesitation I nickered my approval.

"Hey!" Haldir said with a harsh jesting tone, "Leave Sullendry out of this conversation!"

Celeborn laughed and said, "I think your horse more than anyone knows how you need a distraction. The poor thing must have sore ears!" To me he asked, "Did he ever even teach you the word; vacation? Because I do not think he has ever been on one. It means to stop thinking and doing your job for a period of time; to let your mind wander, to rest, to enjoy the company of other elves and ladies for the pleasure of conversation on trivial matters... to be light hearted, to laugh, to sing, to dance..."

"I think he understands," Haldir quipped.

"He is always on duty," Celeborn continued to me. "I bet he only ever talks to you about work too." Though it was not true, I nickered, enjoying the playful accusations. Haldir dropped his jaw and shot wide eyes at me as if I was betraying him. "Your horse agrees. And I can order you to take one if I must, Galadriel gave me leave to do with you as I wish to set you straight."

"Even if you ordered me to holiday, I would not know where to begin," Haldir said. "I do not talk at ease with anyone save Sullendry..."

"You do not have to talk when you are dancing," Celeborn pointed out.

"I have never learned to dance."

"Then I order you lessons, but first we shall have to start vacationing together until I can rest assured that you are ready to be trusted with your own free time... So, today, we will have a hunt, and we will specifically not try to catch anything. You must go just for the pleasure of my company without fear of scaring off game should we by chance start enjoying a discussion."

"A hunt with no intention to catch anything, what is the point, then?" Haldir asked. I stomped at him and he stood back a step. "Is this an order?"

"He is slow," Celeborn agreed with me. He then went on Haldir, "For now, yes. You are not to be trusted to agree on your own yet. And three nights from now, you will attend a choir performance. Muriel is singing with three of her pupils. Afterward..." Haldir was shaking his head in protest, but Celeborn continued. "...you will come to my flet alone and have a large glass of elvish wine with me, telling me how awful it was for you."

Haldir laughed and said, "I will need more than one glass... but what about Rumil? Nights are the worst for him. He does not sleep well if I am not there."

"I will not keep you out all night," Celeborn scoffed. "That is why I said only one glass." Celeborn stood up from the wall and with compassion he clarified, "I am mindful of your position, Haldir. And that is why I am not leaving you to discover these needs of yours on your own." My elf seemed slightly embarrassed by that and Celeborn added, "I am convinced that you will serve your brother better if you have other distractions and continue to live your life. In fact, he will likely be much less annoyed with you, if he is not your main focus."

He began walking and motioned for Haldir to follow.

The two of them walked out together and something in my heart knew at that moment, everything was going to change. It took a very long time for Haldir to become completely comfortable with the notion of relaxation and he was better for it, and Rumil did find it a relief, just as Celeborn said he would. Our times together were more refreshing as well and I began to understand why it was important that Haldir spend time away from me connecting with elves. I accepted his other friendships and even welcomed long weeks of time away from him as being for his benefit, and thus, ultimately mine as well; for I was never as happy as I could be than when he was glowing with a positive word to speak of time spent with the elders who now welcomed him and especially Celeborn, his now closest confidant.

But it was not for another century after these happenings began that I actually became party to a conspiracy which would separate us for fifty years. It all began in my hope of his having a potentially blissful friendship with young lady named Elienne.


	16. Chapter 16

**Sullendry**

**Chapter 16**

"We are here," Orophin said as he led Rumil inside the stable. The elder of Haldir's two younger brothers glanced suspiciously around and the youngest explained, "When Haldir and I are in Rivendell for the council of kings, someone has to take care of Sullendry, so Haldir told me to show you how to do it."

"This horse is an elder who lived free for hundreds of years before retiring in luxury," Rumil protested. "I am certain he does not need a nursery attendant."

I found the comment humorous and nickered.

"It is not for _the horse's _need," Orophin responded, picking up a box from the entrance. He then took a shovel from the tool wall and entered my stall. "The gardeners use it's manure. This little bit of work to help them gather it is one of Haldir's trade contributions to food resources. You enjoy our extra bounty of vegetables as much as I, so you can help." He held up the shovel as if to demonstrate and then bent over and scooped up my droppings and dumped them in the box.

"Do they not have enough with all the other horses in the realm?" Rumil asked.

"The other horses cannot be counted upon to relieve themselves in their stall," Orophin explained. "Haldir's horse is trained so that we always have plenty to provide."

"Sullendry," Rumil said looking in my direction. "Why not just go in the garden and save everyone the trouble?"

Again I nickered, enjoying the jest.

Orophin did not and with a huge sigh, he stood and said, "Not only would it crush the plants, it needs to be dried first... this is not a difficult chore, Rumil why be difficult over it?"

"I am only asking questions," Rumil stated tersely as he folded his arms.

When Orophin finished with the box he put it outside the stall and took down a rake. "If there is floor showing you must cover it with a light sprinkle of hay... It keeps the droppings from sticking and helps with the drying process."

"Why is Haldir not taking Sullendry with him to Rivendell?" Rumil probed. "It seems a woeful waste of resources to befriend a horse only to leave it behind when going on a journey."

"He has his reasons..." Orophin said.

Rumil glanced at me and raised a brow; I gave my head a slight shake.

The youngest stood up with the rake and said, "Are you even watching, Rumil? It takes finesse to spread it properly. You do not want it to twist an ankle."

"Why do you keep referring to Sullendry as 'it'?" Rumil asked. "He understands everything you say as well as I do."

"In case you forgot, I stopped talking to animals, long ago," Orophin said. Then with a mumble, he added, "You are not the only one with pain in his past."

That comment quieted Rumil who stared at the ground as his brother finished.

"The trough in the back fills itself with water," Orophin started, walking toward it. "But you must check it for debris so that it..."

Interrupting, Rumil quipped, "I am going to find out why Haldir is leaving Sullendry. It makes no sense."

When he started to walk out, Orophin went after him.

"Wait, please!" Orophin begged. Rumil hesitated and to his credit, Orophin looked to gather patience. "At least allow me to show you? Then it can be between you and Haldir if you actually have to do it." Rumil started to protest and Orophin added, "We are already here, you will only waste your time coming back when he convinces you to do it."

"You have already wasted my time by leading me here under false pretense! We could have had this conversation back at the flet!"

"I am done!" Orophin said, putting the rake up and stormed out of the stall. "Haldir will have to find someone else to train you."

"There is no need to make a scene," Rumil scoffed. "If Haldir can come up with a good enough reason why I should be left behind to_scoop poop_, I am certain I can figure out how to do it on my own... or convince someone else to do it for me."

Orophin gestured with his hand in the air as he accused, "You do this all the time and I think it is to get out of work! Is it such an insult to your fine standards to get a bit of dirt on your hands? You would rather be knitting and embroidering than lifting a tool that has any weight to it!" Orophin started to walk off again, but thought better on it and took a step closer to his brother as he continued. "Do you think every bit of chore needs to be easy or fun? Because sometimes you have to just press through the unpleasant tasks of life and contribute!"

"I weave costly rope," Rumil justified. "Just because I enjoy doing it does not mean it is not_work_. If you are unhappy at your tasks, discover what you do enjoy and_do_it! Blaming others for your inability to contribute anything substantial is not going to make you any less miserable."

"It is not that I am miserable, it is that some tasks must be done to maintain our home and it is not fair that Haldir and I have taken on so much while you make excuses!"

"I take care of my own needs and then some. Sullendry is Haldir's horse, not mine. You help Haldir because you have no significant trade and rely on him for your every need."

Orophin gripped his hands into fists and seethed, "You take care of your own need?! Your emotional needs are never ending and you wear our brother out with his trying to meet them and constantly failing!" While pacing he took a moment to measure his thoughts and then decided to expound, "Do you want to know why Haldir is leaving you and Sullendry behind? Because he has been ordered to take holiday when we are in Elrond's protection and therefore he cannot bring you for fear of needing to manage your unpredictable and burdensome behavior during the council festivities."

Rumil looked down, not denying the truth of it and asked sharply, "What does that have to do with Sullendry? Why leave him behind?"

"To look after _you_!" Orophin exclaimed. Rumil checked his brother's face at that comment; as did I. He was serious! "Haldir is afraid to leave you behind without knowing you have someone who cares for you and who can tolerate to be around you for more than a few moments!"

Rumil shook his head, annoyed at that and said, "He cannot force a friendship on me, not even with a horse... especially with toiletry duty."

"Yes, I told him as much, but he still tries. It seems that all of Middle Earth and Valinor know that you will not put any effort into your healing but for some reason Haldir believes he can do it for you!" Even though Rumil cringed a bit at that, Orophin went on. "To everyone else, Rumil, you have changed from a charming gentle elf into one filled with bitterness and scorn; but in my eyes you are still the same lazy, manipulator that you always were. Only now instead of sweet talking mother into pampering your every whim, you use your miserable, unpleasantness to trick Haldir into running circles around your broken heart!"

It was all I could stand and I gave a loud whinny and a threatening charge to chase the unruly elf out of my stall.

"I am done!" Orophin repeated and ran off.

Neither of the brother's seemed completely wrong or right in my eyes, but the fight needed mediation and it was left to me to do it. I had never been bothered that Orophin did not see me as an equal or that he had only ever said one word to me: 'move'. Haldir had explained his younger brother's reasons for not developing attachments to animals, and I respected it, but it left me cold in compassion for him.

On the other hand, though we had no mentionable friendship, as charged, I did care for Rumil.

The outburst must have been unexpected to him as well for he stood still and expressionless for the longest time, staring down at the hay. I nickered, but he did not respond. Watching his eerie, haunted face, I felt my heart aching for what memories he might be reliving. Haldir had told me his brother would wake at night, sometimes with a shout, but refused to confess the dreams that tormented him. I waited, patiently until he stepped into the back corner of my stall. He squatted down at first and then to my surprise turned to take a seat in the dusty hay; leaning against the corner walls.

His face was lined with pain and it chilled me for the resemblance of how he had appeared when Haldir had first carried him to Rivendell. He was not fully healed and some believed he may never be. Haldir too worried that his brother might get lost in his past. With Galadriel and Celeborn gone, it made sense to me that I should be left behind to nurture his pain.

I moved forward to see if I could bring him back to his present and stood with my hoof right next to where he sat. I lowered my nose down to the top of his head and snorted. His soft blond mane blew out and away from his face at the burst of air.

"They kept hay on the floor of our cells," he confessed in a hush. "It was never fresh, but the cast off from stolen horses." He looked up at me and said, "I do not mean to insult you by refusing to spend time in your company, but visual and olfactory memories are impossible to escape." He looked out the door and continued, "And please, do not judge Orophin. He is bitter because he gave up the trade of animal tamer which was his only passion. He may be right about my laziness in general, but my reluctance to do this work is... deeper."

I nickered at the difficult admission and shifted my footing even closer. He lifted a knee and rested his elbow on it. Then put his head in his hand and lay his other palm on my leg.

"Haldir has often said I should befriend you; that your kindness would do me well. And I do feel the comfort in your presence... yet I am afraid I would get lost here..." His hand gently stroked the hairs around my ankles. I wondered that he did not shed the tears I often saw in Haldir's eyes at such moments, he seemed unwilling somehow and it made me even sadder.

"I am so grateful to you for being to my brother what I cannot..." he said. Another very long pause, he added, "He never tires of looking for ways to serve me... to sacrifice his needs for mine... He would shift your affections to me if he could, but even if this place did not make me sick, I would not take you from him." He looked up at me and said, "I just wanted you at least to know why. It is not personal. You are a wonderful horse."

I was moved by the devotion of Haldir's poor brother and wondered if my elf ever saw this side of him; I doubted it, for surely he would have mentioned it! In my affection I attempted to nuzzle his head but he pushed me away. Accepting the limits of his comfort, I moved away and merely waited.

"Do you even want to go to Rivendell?" he asked.

I snorted my disinterest either way.

"That is exactly how I feel... But I think Haldir wants us to go and between you and me, he is a fool for not taking you. The journey takes much longer if the scouts must be constantly running back and forth on foot to the traveling party. If I am the reason he is not taking you then I had better start proving I can be trusted at a king's council!"

He stood and brushed the hay off of his back side. "I hate it when Orophin is right about anything, but I think he has a point about me not wanting to bother about being healed as well..." As if catching himself he stopped talking. "Thank you for listening. So you know, I will speak to my elven counselor... Galadriel has been a pest about seeing me. I did not want it, but for Haldir's sake, I will put forth effort." I nickered at him and he reached his hand out to my neck and patted me before he left.

...

**Two weeks later...**

"The Bruinen River is finally within our sight," Haldir said when we reached the top of a rise overlooking the fields of Eriador. Though winded, I searched with my elf over the lands, sniffing and listening for any signs of danger in the early morning light. Behind us a good, hard run was our traveling party and before us was complete leisure for my elf in Rivendell. He was sworn of any formal duty save to present a position at the council and he was even free to skip that if he saw fit; though I doubt he would because he enjoyed a feisty presentation.

I had heard the admonishing by Celeborn for Haldir to prepare his mind for rest as well as his body; to set his disposition on trivial and pleasurable experiences and to allow only matters of enjoyment to occupy his thoughts. To help in this paradigm, we had left all guards behind save his brothers, so there was no need for pretense of decorum. Celeborn had even gone as far as to ban Elrond's twins and Glorfindel from the council festivities for their habit of interfering by way of some competition or instigating of rivalry. Even the trips from home and back to Lorien were to be less anxious, for Haldir explained that with Galadriel and Celeborn along, there was never danger, for even if there were an attack, they were forces to be reckoned with. Even our scouting was mere protocol.

"It looks clear, save for a few elven riders there on the field," he said. I agreed and expected for us to turn back to rejoin our party for the rest of the journey, instead, I felt heels bumping my sides. I did not know where he wanted to go or why and he did not mention it, but he wanted to go fast and I obliged. I carried him swiftly down the ravine and up along the next ridge. When we arrived I saw that the riders were ladies.

"A strange sight is before me," he said. "I lived in Rivendell off and on for a hundred years and I have never laid eyes on that lovely lady below... do you see her, the one with the reddish blonde hair?"

I fixed an eye on the distant figures and did not see much difference between them save the color of their manes. I nickered and hoped we could return, but Haldir pushed us on further. Galloping down the ravine, on to the next ridge. This time, he dismounted and climbed up further on a cliff than I could go safely.

I nickered a warning and he said, "I want a closer look... I am on holiday, after all and if there is a friend to be made in Rivendell as delightful as this lady's smile testifies, I want to be certain I can recognize her and make her acquaintance."

I snorted. He did not fool me in the least. Among his preparations for holiday, Haldir had mused on the prospect of bonding some day. He told me that if this excursion was as rejuvenating as Celeborn promised that he might at some point in the future take a holiday in Mirkwood or even visit the remote forest of Darkwood. He did not hide the reason was to introduce himself to ladies he had never met before; those that might have been born after his youthful indiscretion with Muriel. He told me that the songbird herself had encouraged him that all should be forgiven and forgotten among the ladies, especially now that he had matured and become so much more than anyone expected. It seemed a good plan to me, so long as I had a say in the match for by his own admission Haldir did not have good judgment when it came to the ladies.

"I can almost hear her laugh from here!" he called to me. "Who laughs while riding? What could be so funny?" After a moment he said, "The wind is carrying too much of itself... I am going to go a bit closer to see if I can hear what they are saying."

The next sound I heard was the cracking of reeds and a distant splash. I could not climb up the steep ridge to look, so I neighed my concern.

"I am alright," he said, disgusted. "But... this mire... ugh... it stinks!" There was a bit more splashing and cracking. "I... I cannot get a footing!" After a bit of rustling he called up, "Sullendry, it will take me all day to get out alone. I am going to need help... Do you think there is any way for you to fetch Rumil without drawing Celeborn's attention?"

I neighed in frustration and then whinnied chastisement.

"I know it was foolish!" he said. "But I am on holiday and have been told I am allowed some foolishness! I only do not want my lord to find out or he will tease me mercilessly! I'd much rather be sneered at by Rumil."

It took some planning to devise a way to be seen only by Haldir's brother. He was wise enough to see I was sneaking and excused himself from the party to join me. By the time he and I and his horse arrived at the cliff's back, the traveling party was already in the field below us.

"Well, where is he?" Rumil demanded impatiently.

"Rumil?" Haldir called out. "I cannot tell you how happy I am to hear your voice!"

Rumil dismounted and nimbly climbed to the top of the ridge. "What in the wood?"

"I fell," Haldir said.

"You fell," Rumil asked. "Just like that? A thousand years of walking and all of a sudden you just_fall_?"

"I was distracted. Can you please just help me first and lecture me later?"

Rumil came back for a rope, glanced at me and with a smirk said, "Whatever may happen on now, the journey was worth it seeing him so helpless!"

I nickered, not certain I agreed, but feeling a strange glimmer of hope for my elf. Perhaps he would finally learn to relax and enjoy life again.

...

"Arwen is on the balcony and coming to greet us," Rumil spoke to my elf as I and his horse carried them into the streets of Rivendell. "Did she know I was coming?"

"No, we decided on that after the response was sent," Haldir said. "It will be fine.

"I cannot bear her attention," Rumil said.

"You promised me you would not do this..."

"I know, but I did not consider I would have to see her the first moment we were here!" Rumil said.

"I will distract her, then," Haldir said. "You linger in the back and I will speak to her in a way that annoys her. I am certain she will leave us alone thereafter."

"Thank you," Rumil said.

The other horses about us were being stopped and their reins given to tenders, but Haldir shook his head to all of them and drove me before even Galadriel and Celeborn. As he did, I noticed a certain young lady running down the steps and wondered at my fair elf's blindness to miss the lady. She stopped at the bottom of the steps and was about to speak to my elf when he instead addressed the princess following her.

"I am most flattered! The fairest of all Elven Princesses comes to greet me today!" he said. In my view I saw the visage of the red maned lady at first bask in the compliment until he continued. "M'lady Arwen, you have grown even more gorgeous than I remember. Receiving not just an abundance of grace, but mystical radiance from your grandmother."

The lady beside us glanced back in disappointment at Arwen as she said, "It is my grandmother whom I am here to greet."

To her credit the younger of the two curtsied and addressed my friend.

"Haldir, Guardian of Lórien, Emissary of the..."

"Ah, yes," Haldir interrupted and dismounted. Loudly and rudely he announced to Arwen, "At least the hospitality of Rivendell is not being withheld from my horse."

As my reins were handed to the lady, Haldir walked toward Arwen and away from she whom he had planned to woo.

"Tis an honor, M'Lord," the lady beside me said. "I shall give him the finest of treatments as any horse has ever had in these stables."

Haldir turned to look at the strange comment and I saw in his eyes recognition, but he played himself confident. "Thank you… but nothing out of the ordinary. Sullendry needs restful solitude more than fussing."

"Understood, M'Lord," the lady said and led me toward the stables.

In a burst of conversation the lady began a long tirade to put Orophin's self-pity to shame! Within the short time from taking my reins to leaving me in my stall she managed to insult me and Haldir and had the audacity to argue with me over my elf's instructions. She then turned to apologize for her manners, flattered me so extravagantly as to make a pale horse blush, flirted excessively with a prince and put on quite a performance of play acting to forge a deception against my elf!

It was my first experience with a lady of youthful age and I am sorry to say that my judgement of her at first was not very kind. When Haldir returned to me after she left he was not discouraged by her whimsy and even eager to use knowledge I had gained for an advantage over her. I would have no part in it. Deceptions never ended well in my mind.

"I have not discovered her name or origin yet, but no mere elf lady would take on such flagrant airs as this sweet youthful sprite has thrown in my face," he said. "My inclination is that her father must be of some nobility or rank to pass on that degree of confidence in her eyes! To decide my next move, I only need to know from you, why you think she is pretending to be a servant. Is she offended that I mistreated her?"

I stared at him, blinked and looked away.

"She is?" Haldir asked with disappointment. "Is her game vindictive; or is this sport for her as well? I do not want to tease her if she is at all serious."

I snorted and walked to the trough to nibble on Rivendell's legendary sweet hay. It was as light and delicious as I remembered.

"Sullendry," Haldir said coming to my side. "I have had nothing but failure with ladies in my past and here I have the opportunity for a playful exchange with someone who could keep me entertained for my entire holiday. All I have to do is not foil myself somehow!"

I kept chewing the hay without responding.

"Do you not like her?" he asked.I snorted again and he said, "Perhaps it is her beauty that blinds me... but I find her energy... exhilarating. It is has been a long time since I could not predict an interaction before it happened. With attraction in the mix, it is a dangerous game I prepare to play."I nickered in agreement and he said, "You are probably right to discourage me, but I am going to take Celeborn's advice and have some recreation and so long as she will have me as her counterpart, I plan to have it with Elienne."

When he left I hoped that it would be the last I heard from either of them, but a visit from Galadriel opened me to other possibilities.

"Sullendry, are you in here?" her sweet voice asked. I nickered and stepped out of my private corner to see the lady of light smile brightly and step toward me. "There you are..." She stroked me with her gentle, pale fingers and I could not take my eyes off her glowing face. "I want you to remember something," she said. "If you can..." I met her eyes and nickered. She then leaned in close and whispered, "Elf romance!"

A shiver ran through me at the fluttering cadence of her voice.

"She's in here!" a tiny voice cried out. It was the first time my eyes had fallen on an elfling. She was the smallest, most beautiful creature I could imagine and the sunlight shone behind her through her golden curls still to this day reminds me of my elf's daughter. At that moment, the sight took me out of the moment to some other, spiritual place. I realize now that Galadriel had part in it, for in my mind I heard her continue her influence.

_"Haldir's joy is not yet complete."_

The vision darkened as from behind the tiny elfling, two slightly older young elves ran in. The queen of Lorien laughed and met them halfway, walking toward the littlest one and lifting her up. As the young elves left, one turned and gazed back at me, his eyes huge as he stared up at me. He began to come back in and the other, older one came and took his hand.

"Leave him alone, Feldor, that is the grumpy guard's horse!" With a shudder, the elf ran off with his brother.

At first I wondered if even on this holiday he was having trouble enjoying himself already; everyone else was obnoxiously cheerful. And that is when I realized what Galadriel was trying to teach me through displaying her love and laughter with Celeborn. Why should my elf not be made grumpy with brothers like Orophin and Rumil and, to my regret, a horse like me grumping at his every attempt at fun. Perhaps Elienne was what Haldir needed to bring joy to his life?

I decided to not only give Elienne the benefit of the doubt, but ended up actively participating and encouraging her. By the end of the affair, I was so frustrated with my elf's bumbling of his prospects and immature posturing that I had fallen completely on Elienne's side. The details of what happened over those three days are a tale that I am certain my elf and his lady will likely tell much better than I. But let it be said that I am reasonably certain he would not have been successful were it not for my presence. In a way it was Orophin who is to be thanked, though I doubt either my elf or his brothers realize that an outburst in anger which reveals a painful truth could beget so much eternal joy.

I do realize it. And I realize also that my duties to my elf did not diminish when I chose separation from him, but rather became ultimately more instrumental.

In conclusion, I welcome any and all of my offspring to take the opportunity when it presents, to befriend a member of a speaking race, to listen, to learn, to be what they need and understand the depths of their feelings and complications of their moral wrestling. The effort to build trust and discomfort of their obtuse ways is well worth the companionship and sense of meaning and purpose it produces in a horse.

As I consider my future with Haldir and realize I do not know which one of us will outlive the other, I am convinced of one thing, that even in final separation, however it may sadden me, my heart shall not rend! I will carry his character and all that he is to me as long as I shall have breath. And if it is the will of Iluvatar, this thought scroll will be sent along to lend such understanding to the many multitudes of my offspring so that both they and those they befriend, should so be blessed.

**The End ~ Sullendry**

**Authors note: I say 'The End' but this story does not start or end with this one. It ends here because this is right before Sullendry meets his mate and has a foal - these are the memories he passes to his offspring. :) That is why it is in first person and why I ended it there. If you want to find out what happens after this (or before) go to my profile and read about the various stories in this universe! Heartsong is next... I hope you enjoy them!**


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